10 week old wakes every 2 hours through the night

[Gabbbbbbby]

First time mum and poster here! I've got a lovely 10/11 week old who still wakes every 2/3 hours throughout the night to feed. He also feeds every 2/3 hours during the day. We struggled for a while with slow weight gain so I've been very baby-led with his feeding (he cluster feeds in the evenings fairly regularly too) but now I'm really wanting to phase out some of the night feeds! He does feed for about 20 mins or so each feed at night so if he's actually hungry I obviously don't want to deny him milk. The other thing is that he doesn't really actually wake up for these feeds. He wriggles and fusses till I pick him up and then feeds with his eyes tight shut and is sound asleep again by the time he finishes - so I guess he's technically getting a full night's sleep! Just not me...

I don't feel too horrifically exhausted as we're co-sleeping (using lullaby trust guidelines) but I'd like to get him out of my bed and sleeping for longer stretches at night by 4/5 months really... luckily my husband is so helpful and takes him for a few hours before midnight and at 6am ish so I can get a few hours on my own without one ear listening for the baby to cry.

Sorry for long message - any advice or just people telling me they had this issue too would be much appreciated. Sleep training?

Thanks!

Far too young for any kind of sleep training and waking up every 2-3 hours overnight at that age is entirely normal I'm afraid! In fact you're lucky if baby is going straight back to sleep after! Baby sleep does all kind of weird things and you just have to roll with it, really!

Also at that age he still needs to feed overnight and if you've had problems with weight gain previously I wouldn't be looking to eliminate any night feeds yet as he's still very young. He's feeding for 20 mins or so each feed because he needs it.

Sounds entirely normal. I would keep bed sharing and look at changing things this time next year.

Forgot to say - he's now exclusively breast fed. We had some bottle top ups of expressed breast milk when his weight was a worry but we phased them out. He also naps quite well on his own in his bassinet and can self settle for naps - I never feed him to sleep during the day. He's having at least 5 naps a day though so maybe that's too much? He gets tired after about an hour/90 mins awake time during the day.

What on earth were you expecting when you had a baby? They need regular feeds through the day and night. It is normal.

My baby was the same. We co-slept too. At 7months she miraculously improved of her own accord which was lucky as I was shattered by that point.
But I really think your baby is too young right now to do much. Obviously if you’re not coping then that’s a different story.
IN my mind, I found it hard to know how much milk they had really had, and couldn’t bear her being hungry. But once she weaned and was stuffing her face with cheese and pasta I felt much more comfortable avoiding feeds when she woke.
I did have to move her out of bedroom though for that. Lying in bed together was synonymous for feeding.
This time will pass so quickly but I know the nights can seem long and broken sleep is tortuous. Wishing you luck and strength!

Those wake times and number of naps are perfectly normal for his age. My twins woke up every three hours at night for feeds for a long time but we followed their lead and they dropped feeds as and when they are ready. At 5 months my twins still need a nap every 2-2.5 hours.

This all sounds completely normal- babies need lots of sleep and milk! I wouldn't be looking to night wean yet, nor reduce daytime sleep. It's great he is sleeping between feeds at night - that's a positive step. Keep doing what you're doing and continue to be baby led. Awake time and feeds will gradually space out when your baby is ready.

You say he still wakes for regular night feeds - but baby is still very young and has a tiny stomach that can't hold much for long. Baby should be waking regular for night feeds - it's very normal and a part of their development.

Also your plan to have "him out of my bed and sleeping for longer stretches at night by 4/5 months really" might need to be a bit more flexible. Every baby is different so I wouldn't bother setting long-term goals to avoid disappointment. Also lots of babies have sleep regressions around 4 months.

Just concentrate on surviving the 'very young baby' stage for now and cross each bridge as it comes imo but of course do as you please.

Well done, it's not an easy time

I'm anti sleep training but that's a whole other thread!

This is normal. My nearly 6 month old has only managed to go 4 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next on only four occasions. She is my second so I’m well aware that this is normal and it will get better but for now this what they need.

Some people can feed laying down.

Thanks everyone - nice to have reassurance that this is normal. As I said I'm coping fine with lots of support so I can carry on! Just that quite a few of my nct group are boasting about their babies sleeping 5/6 hour stretches now and they're all at least two weeks younger than him. One is apparently already sleeping through the night!

Overall he's happy and healthy so that's the main thing! And yes at least I don't have to settle him back to sleep in the night.

I knew sleep training would be controversial! I don't really agree with it either, just wondered if anyone had any advice on it.

DS1 woke every 2 hours for at least a year, DS2 is 8 months and occasionally manages 3 hours. I know it's hard but it's pretty normal.

If you're managing a decent amount of sleep I'd just keep doing what you're doing. It seems like forever at the time but the phase where they're very small and waking loads does pass quite quickly when you look back, honest!

The nct babies you mentioned in your update just now are most likely formula fed. Nothing wrong with that obviously but it's a completely different thing so please don't compare. You're doing a great job

Baby sleep isn't linear and you'll probably find those sleeping NCT babies don't stay that way! My DD slept up to 9 hour stretches from about 8 weeks till 16 weeks, then she went through a phase of waking up every couple of hours for milk, and now she's 11mo she's only just phased out her last night feed the last couple of weeks.

At 10 weeks my DS was a good sleeper, waking once or twice a night and sometimes going 8 hours. Since 4.5 months (now 10.5 months) he wakes between 3 and 10 times a night. We have tried night weaning etc and it has been a colossal failure. (I did it successfully and fairly easily with DC1). If you can roll with it, at least until 6 months, that is probably best. Although worth keeping on with putting your DC down awake. Self settling is the bit that is tricky here!

Just that quite a few of my nct group are boasting about their babies sleeping 5/6 hour stretches now and they're all at least two weeks younger than him

All babies are different. Just because their babies are sleeping well now, it doesn't mean that it's likely to last. You're only 10 weeks in, if you start comparing now you're probably going to make a habit of doing it for years to come.

It's completely normal for a baby of 10 weeks to wake up to feed very frequently throughout the night. Just go with it.

Just that quite a few of my nct group are boasting about their babies sleeping 5/6 hour stretches now and they're all at least two weeks younger than him. One is apparently already sleeping through the night!
Anyone boasting about their baby's sleep is a dickhead. It's pure luck. And it can change! My friend had a baby the same day as I did; my DD is a fiend, hers slept through from 12 weeks… until six months, and is now up hourly. My daughter is currently doing four hour stretches. (I'm under no illusion it will last.)

Also some of them will be lying.

sounds completely normal. Have a read of Sarah ockwell smiths article on the roller coaster of baby sleep, sleep doesn't improve in a linear manner. He'll sleep more, then sleep less and so on and so on. Learning to accept normal baby sleep will make you much happier in the long run than stressing about how to change it (which honestly.... You cant really do!)

It's hard being sleep deprived. I recommend early nights and nap when he does!

Your NCT group are full of shit! Or their kids are starving to death!!

Just wait until your Nct friends’ babies hit the 4 month sleep regression