Being left out since having our baby

[ClaireT1308]

Hi All,

Just wondering if anyone has been left out of things since having their baby?

We’ve not been invited to two family gatherings on my husbands side in the last week for Christmas and new year which I think is kind of rude? After Boxing Day we found out his whole family went to his mothers for a dinner/party which we knew nothing about - when we found out and he asked about it they said “oh we didn’t think you would come with having the baby” she’s five months so not exactly a new born but it would have been nice to be asked at least.

I’ve now found out they had a new year gathering last night which we also weren’t invited to, we seen his grandparents during the day yesterday who said they had no plans for new year and were staying in, we then found out this morning they were all there.

I really think we are being purposefully left out because of our baby, which to me feels really isolating. Even if we felt it was too much to attend I think we should at least be invited and definitely not lied to about it.

What do you guys think? Have you experienced this? I should say we are the only ones with a child at the moment!

Thanks x

Oh that’s not on. No one should assume how you would feel about an invite, especially when these are family gatherings and not outings to a nightclub or busy pub. Haven’t had this. We still get asked to gatherings but in-laws have assumed when going for a meal that we would leave baby so we could ‘enjoy’ ourselves - so maybe they’re thinking along the same lines - but again let you be the judge of that. All you can do is say to them that you still want invited. Hopefully there will be no further snubs!

Imo crappy family members can bother with who they want to- but when the chips are down and arses need a - wiping you know you need not be offering any help guilt free.
Enjoy your lovely baby in the knowledge you don't have awful relatives arguing over how many hours they expect to see it /you /dh per week...
Stuff them all op. It really is their loss.

So sorry OP. That’s a really hurtful thing to happen. I’ve experienced this too, after having my ds my family had a large birthday dinner in a pub, they had a no children rule and my childcare fell through at the last minute. Since then DH and I have not been invited to gatherings. There’s been golden wedding dinners, milestone birthday parties etc and we don’t get invited anymore. I had also had to listen to my mum tell me in great detail what everyone ate/wore/what the cake was like etc. So isolating and upsetting.

They don't want the baby there cramping their style evidently.

That's shit.

Some people just don't like babies being around. It's shit, but it happens a lot.

Yep, it has got better but the first year it was like people thought we didn't want to do anything!at one point I made a point of saying to friends that we were still just the same people that still wanted to see and socialise with others!!