Clingy toddler now so clingy he's being sick if I'm out the room!

[thinkingcapon]

Just that really.....the last 2 weeks have become so bad.....I'm broken.....he's 3 and just will not stop smothering me, constantly crying the second I'm out the room and making himself sick he gets in such a state with anyone else trying to calm him down!
Any advice v welcome! Thanks

Are you the main person looking after him, or does he go to nursery/with any family members ever?

Thanks @Hugsandpastries he goes to
Nursery 5 days a week but because it's closed plus he's been unwell ,his behaviour is just off the scale!

Does he have a comforter? Something special you can make smell like you. This sounds really hard

No @THAT90sBITCH he doesn't , could give that a bash though

Just an idea op, may give him a sense of you being there even though your not. When you need to go do something are you telling him where / why you are going?

Has he had a bad experience of any sort recently?

This sounds really tough for both of you op.

Do you signpost the situation clearly? "I'm just going for a quick wee and then I'll be right back?"

What do you do at bedtime?

Could anything else be triggering this level of anxiety? Any big changes recently?

Could he be coming down with something? My dc did this before chicken pox spots appeared.

If he’s unwell then he will need you and lots of hugs more than usual, it’s very tough when they’re ill. Has he been to the doctor? It sounds like he’s used to being away from you at nursery so maybe it’s the change in routine combined with being ill.

Great idea to give him a t-shirt that you've worn the day before or something that smells of you from pp. It's likely he's just going through a bit of insecurity because he's poorly and the change of routine at Christmas can knock kids sideways! I'd also be playing more peekaboo and hide and seek games to try and establish more security as it shows that you do come back maybe? Not an instant fix but may help. Maybe give him jobs/tasks to do and say to be finished when you come back? Make them small and quick first then longer. Try not to draw attention to the fact you're leaving - no "mummy will be back in a minute, you stay there, I'll be back" because even though its meant to be reassuring, it builds anxiety up (interestingly also why you're not meant to fuss animals before you leave too) sorry there's no quick fixes, and must be really tough for you and him.

Is something going on at nursery that he’s unhappy about? Or any other big changes in his life?

sirimone has given good advice.

I’m sure you already do, but tell him why/ where you’re going/ how long you’ll be and always make sure you’ll be back as soon as you say you will?

Thanks all. I'm doing everything by the book (apart from smelly T-shirt)
He's been unwell, out of his routine as away from nursery/staying in a different house over Xmas.
Hardest few weeks of my mum life .....just got to hope it'll pass before I break

In that case, it sounds like it’ll pass once you’re back home and in your normal routine. That sounds so tough

My dd is two and is the same at the moment. I think she's enjoying the novelty of me being here 24/7 and the fact that I'm a much softer touch than her dad or our lovely amazing childminder (she's going to be my only baby due to repeat mc so I am unintentionally indulgent with her - and will play those boring role play games for hours).

I try to reframe it in my head and tell myself that it's flattering to be so adored and that rather than wasting my time, I'm storing up on cuddles now for when she's a horrible teenager who hates me. And am trying to remember all of this, so that when she's a banshee teen I can remind her that once she loved me so much that she would cry if she couldn't watch me poo.

Fucking exhausting though.