Becoming a mother has changed me.

[Bxy123]

I gave birth to DS 10 months ago and I have been shocked at how much becoming a mother has changed me psychologically. I have read countless articles on the Internet about how women felt they were changed into this new woman who was the person they were always supposed to be, how Motherhood has taught them new amazing things about themselves they didn't know they had in them, etc.
I feel the exact opposite. I do not like or recognise this new person I have changed into. I have no patience or empathy for anyone other than my child. I have spoken to my doctor about PPD but that has been ruled out - I definitely do not feel depressed. Just wondering if anyone else relates to this at all?

www.nature.com/articles/nn.4458

www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

First link is to the original study, second is to a write up of it.

Yup.

It does get better, although it takes much longer than you would expect. Mine are all at primary school and I am mostly rational again. My poor DH really got it in the neck; I couldn’t believe how I felt towards him.

I am different person now since having ds who is nearly 7. I have no patience for b*l s*t. I dont do anything just to please ppl. I dont go out of my way to make contact or see anyone. I am much more of a solitary person now where I was once sociable.

I didn't suffer fools pre-DD, so that didn't really change (though I am now, three years on, on SSRIs for anxiety and have a little more patience.

I found it made me so so emotional. Mostly better now but still not back to the stone cold bitch I was before!

I thinks it’s normal. We are just animals and our animal instinct is to put our young before others, this is specially sting when they are young.

Yes I've changed. I'm not so daring now, and worry all the time. Just like my mum did!

Yes. My partner has had a cold over Christmas - a bad one, I did feel sorry for him for a few days. But it's just dragging in and on, he keeps saying he feels ill and having naps, and it's making me furious! I have zero patience and am being very short with him, especially as I was expecting a break from childcare over Christmas while he was home, and I've ended up doing more than usual. Grrrr!

I have definitely become much grumpier since having DD 6 years ago (my parents comment on it a lot - ha!), but also much more open and honest. Definitely do not feel I was 'born to be a Mum' or any of that crap. Try to appreciate the new you! There will be a good side if you look for it.

I definitely don't give a shit about a lot of stuff that would have seriously bothered me before. I have a different perspective of what is important in life now. I think that's a mostly positive change though.

Yeah, it changed me, and I think it was positive. But it didn’t feel that way when DS was 10mo.

At first I was really anxious and emotional and obsessed (OBSESSED) with the baby and nothing else. I gained loads of weight, stopped even brushing my hair regularly, and I was irrational - the last of which is really not me at all.

Once the duh of babyhood lifted (DS is now 3) I went back to my usual self. But now I’m stronger, more confident and contented and optimistic. I’ve taken up running in a big way and have shocked myself by completing some really gruelling physical challenges (desert running, obstacle courses). That all started because I wanted to be healthy for DS, but now I do it for myself.

The way you are immediately after having a baby isn’t permanent, in my experience. It takes time.

*fug, not duh! Although duh is kind of fitting too