Anyone else need a break?

[curlyrebel]

So I'm not sure if you can call it a nervous breakdown but I had to escape the house from my two young DC this evening.

To give a bit of background...I'm on Mat leave with the youngest. Eldest is 2.5 and has reached that annoying age of calling
Mummy, mummy constantly, following me around, not letting me sit on the loo in peace without wanting to join me. Youngest is teething and only wants me most of the time. I love them both to bits but I realise that I've not had a real break from them over Christmas. DH works long shifts and hardly had any days off in the run up to Xmas.

DH went to watch footie earlier at 4.30. I made a roast and thought he'd be back around 6. Instead he met his mate and wasn't back till around 8 (with mate). In that time I reached the end of my tether and told him I was going out. He tried to persuade me to stay at home and just go upstairs for a bit

I find it's really easy for DH to go off and do his own thing and I wonder what's stopping me? Anyone else feel the same or been through similar? Anyone have advice on making sure I get breaks away from the DC for my own sanity?

I totally understand. My DH is a good guy but I have resentment that doesn't fade at how easy it is for him to "get away". It's really unfair considering you carry your DC for 9months, have to go through labour and then there seems to be no let up at any point.

I don't really have much advise but perhaps schedule some "you time" in in advance. Even if its 2hours at a coffee shop. Let DH know it'll be happening on a certain day and don't let anything change your mind. One of the best ways to look after your DCs is to ensure you're also looking after yourself 💐.

Good to know I'm not alone @FTMF30. It really does cause resentment. I found it easier when I was working before DC2 came along because at least I got some time away from the responsibility and some adult company!

That's a nice idea...I was thinking of joining a local leisure centre and booking myself into classes in advance. I need to do something for my health in any case.

Joining your local leisure centre andbooking in some classes sounds like a great idea. I hope it gives you the break you need x

I only have one child but I am feeling very similar. We had a lovely family Christmas at home, with visitors and lots of fun but I’ve been very down since they all left. Toddler is challenging at the moment between behaviour and very early wakings. I am exhausted and my response has been to hide away in the house, only going out if absolutely necessary. It’s not doing me any good. It’s also not doing anyone else any good.

I am massively resentful of how my husband appears to have no hesitation about just doing something for himself. Whether it is playing sports, having ‘me’ time or whatever. I’ve actually just spoken to my husband about all this and how I need help to figure out how to put myself first for a change. I’m having a self-care day today, everyone is out and I’m pottering about happily by myself. Might go for a coffee later. And then tomorrow I’m going to try and get myself going again.

Hope you get the break you need and things start to feel more manageable soon.

@Direwolfwrangler Sorry to hear you're also finding it hard. I'm glad you're having a day to yourself. Is that after speaking to your husband? I think sometimes we contain our feelings and then we reach breaking point and it comes out. Our DPs often didn't have a clue!
I think we should make a New Years resolution to practice more self-care every day, whether it's having a nap or going out for a walk by ourselves.
One thing I've found is that getting out of the house every day can make things easier.

I’m up for that @curlyrebel Getting out the house is key, I’ve had a good chat with my husband and we are a bit more on the same page now. More me time is happening!

I’ve started 2020 well - just did a yoga video!

That's so good your husband was understanding @Direwolfwrangler. And great start with the yoga video. I've got a pregnancy one I might try tomorrow morning.

@curlyrebel hope you’ve managed to get some time to yourself? I’m out this afternoon having my nails done and hair cut!

I'm in the same boat. We have an almost 3 year old and a 4.5 month old. I am starting to really resent him he goes out on average once a week. I've been out twice since my youngest was born and I had to schedule that in advance. I bf on demand so on a good night I'm lucky to get 3 hrs sleep total. ( Not in a row) My partner doesn't get up during the night for feeds. I express as well. Today for example I was in the bathroom (Tmi) I had to poo, been trying for 2 days but not had the time and my partner just ignored our screaming baby again. All he wanted was picked up. Whenever he cries my partner is like he needs the boob or my partner goes off else wheren and leaves him crying.
I get he works hard and I'm on mat leave but even on his days off i still need to do everything on less that 3 hrs sleep per day.
Sorry for the rant and not posting any advice

Yes. It's my birthday in a few weeks and I'm booking a day pass at my local gym that has a quiet pool with chairs by it and a sauna (so basically a cheap spa). I'm really looking forward to swimming by myself and actually getting to swim instead of just holding a toddler in the water.

Hi @Direwolfwrangler, sounds like you're getting the me time you need. We've been on holiday so it's been relaxing, although it was still difficult to get time on my own!
I've found a community centre near my house that runs exercise classes so I plan on doing a class every week when my DH is home or I could ask my DM to babysit.

@Maladian sorry to hear you're not being supported. Have you tried talking to your partner and asking for more help? Hope things improve soon for you.
@MsChatterbox that sounds so nice! Can relate about being able to go for a proper swim