It’s driving me mad, and I don’t know what to do about it. DH will deflect every single decision about everything to ensure that anyone but himself is r esponsible for it.
It’s so innocuous, each individual query alone. Do you want me to put the bins out? Do want to try Ds’ phone Vr headset? (I wouldn’t have a clue). Do we want to invite xx round? Do you want me to run ds a bath?
I don’t know how he has managed to hold down a good job, when he can’t take responsibility for a decision. But he has.
Can you see, how innocuous it is? He says ‘do you want me to run ds a bath?’ Well, yes, that would be useful as you know full well its ds’ bath day so you could just go up and run it. But, no bother, I can do it myself.
Do we want to try out the headset we’re giving as a gift to make sure it works? Well, yes, we could, but I was assuming you had the tech knowledge to do that. I don’t, so we can’t. ‘Do you want me to put the bins out?’ Well, no, I’d rather pay someone to do it. But, if you’re offering to put the bins out because you notice it’s actually bin day they need doing , that is great.
I know the examples I’ve given aren’t great. It really is innocuous, one example at a time makes hi sound d so considerate and loving,
But, honestly, every decision that dh has to make, he makes it because he puts the responsibility of that choice onto someone else. He never, ever, ever makes a decision of his own. Ever.
If you think I’m being unreasonable, maybe I’ll log all of the decisions he offloads for a week, then come back and post them in context. Honestly, he doesn’t take responsibility for any family decision. Meaning everything that goes wrong is my fault, as it wasn’t his decision,,..
What do I do?