I am at my wits’ end with my 2 DSs and honestly think we need some sort of Supernanny parenting help. My children will just not stop fighting no matter how many strategies we implement. It really is ruining family life and I am so miserable.
DS1 is 9 and has mild ADHD diagnosed. He is lovely when happy but very very needy and needs adult input all the time. He gets jealous whenever DS2 gets any positive attention or a compliment etc. Hé quickly becomes very negative and when told off will say he doesn’t deserve to be in the family and needs to leave. It’s heartbreaking.
DS2 is 6 and has had none of the traits of DS1 until the last 3 months. Since then he’s been increasingly angry and today was the worst ever. This morning he was asked to switch off his kindle which he got for Christmas. This sent him into a massive rage where he was hitting, scratching and throwing duvets off beds etc. Really rampaging around. I’ve never seen anything like it. The Kindle has now been removed for the foreseeable future.
They’ve been arguing badly over Christmas and so DH and I decided last night that we needed to take them out separately today to give them some space from each other. We both had lovely calm days with each boy individually. DS2 and I got back first and he was calmly playing with Lego in the sitting room. DS1 came in and wanted to play Lego too. We asked him to play in the playroom so they were separate. He was angry because DS2 had the box of Lego men and he wanted them. We asked him how many he needed and said we would go and get them from DS2 so they could share (we have a huge box of Lego people). This wasn’t enough and he started moaning and shouting at his brother saying that he was selfish for taking them all etc. Before long they were arguing as usual so the day apart had had no effect whatsoever.
When they argue we try to separate them but they will not go to rooms etc and they are too big now to pick up and carry. DS1 is in trouble already for saying that DS2 was a fucking idiot yesterday (thankfully not to his face so he shouldn’t repeat it). We have never once sworn in front of them so I don’t know where he’s heard that. We were trying to get him to go to his room to calm down after a fight. His PS4 has been removed due to the swearing.
Has anyone else been through horrific sibling rivalry and survived? Any ideas for dealing with it? I’ve read Siblings without rivalry and The Explosive Child but the strategies simply don’t work. Any help much appreciated as I am lost as to what to do. Strict discipline doesn’t work, the strategies in the books don’t work. What can we do? Or is there a parenting expert we can get in to advise us?
Thank you