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Adding a family dog into the mix

13 replies

Chefwifelife · 27/12/2019 13:21

My DH has always wanted to have a dog, but being a chef has meant it’s never been feasible. In a few days we are swapping roles, and he’s going to be working PT and I’ll be working FT. He’s going to look after DS (29mo) 2 days a week.

This should be a massive improvement for our work life balance meaning we will get evenings and weekends as a family and DH won’t be so shattered all the time.

We are planning on getting a puppy at the end of January. We are also expecting our second child in September.

Firstly am I absolutely nuts? Secondly, if you have been in this situation how did you cope; any words of wisdom or advice? Is a family dog really worth the crazy puppy months? My DH has never asked me for anything and I think it would make him really happy.

My sister said it’s going to be a crazy year anyway so we may as well do it all at once!

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sometimesalways · 27/12/2019 13:41

OP I also would love a dog but prob wouldn't consider one yet - I am scared to do so before we are over the baby/toddler years! I think it would tip me over the edge 😂
But I am sure it is feasible, depending on if/how much help you both have with kids/house etc. I am an introvert and cherish my precious few pockets of downtime, so I don't think i could cope with a puppy right now. But I am sure others would! And a dog gives back a lot of satisfaction and love. Dogs are amazing.

Chefwifelife · 27/12/2019 17:09

@sometimesalways I totally agree about the tipping over the edge. But I would feel so guilty if I said to DH I’ve changed my mind. What a big decision! We’ve been ttc #2 for a year and I had agreed to it before we found out we were expecting.

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Isawthathaggis · 27/12/2019 17:40

OP I would really not recommend a dog with a small family - we got our dog first so we can’t get rid of him but in all honesty he is more work than the children put together.
and if you must get a dog then I really wouldn’t get a puppy.

Getting two walks a day, in all weathers, everyday with small children is bloody hard work.

You think, great, I’ll combine a trip to the park so the children can go on the swings - but that doesn’t work - dogs can’t go into the big with the play equipment and 2 year old children don’t want to sit in the pram and be walked around for hours.

You think, great, we’ll walk to the shops / library, everyone wins....except you can’t because you can’t tie the dog up outside the shops in case it’s nicked and used for dog baiting.

Or, and I like this one the best, you think ‘it’s a lovely day, we’ll go to the pub, it’s dog and child friendly’ but it’s not really. Dogs are only allowed in the bar, children are only allowed in the lounge. So then you’re in that miserable family stuck outside breastfeeding on a bench in the rain.

If it’s hot you can’t leave the dog in the car, so no combining a walk with a cafe while the dog waits in the car.

And don’t get a dog that sheds hairs or you’ll spend your life hoovering.

I bought a fancy Dyson hoover to help with this - and now I need to replace the grouting in my bathroom floor cause it’s been sucked up. Grin

And the cost! Insurance, special hypoallergenic food, new carpets because the dog hates fireworks and digs when stressed.

And, finally, the bloody poo. It has to be picked up every time from the garden or a child will find it and step on it. Like magnets my children are to falling on poo.

Dogs are really enjoyable but not when karting small crying children around. You could add another two children to your brood instead - costs about the same.

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Ihavethefinalsleigh · 27/12/2019 17:43

You are completely nuts. I am a massive dog lover myself and have had quite a few dogs. I waited until my youngest was five before getting a puppy. This was because puppies are such hard work, harder in fact than a new baby. It was also because children under five cannot understand how to treat a dog.

DO NOT GET A PUPPY.

mclover · 27/12/2019 17:43

Look at the 10,000 similar posts under the Doghouse ... never ends well

Pipandmum · 27/12/2019 17:46

I waited until my children were school age to get a dog. A couple people who did both around the same time ended up giving the dog away. Your dog will be just under a year when your baby arrives and that is when they can go through a rebellious adolescent time!
Wait. You are already will have enough going on with a second child coming (having two is more than double the work of one).

Chefwifelife · 27/12/2019 17:53

Thank you everyone for the messages. And @Isawthathaggis you sound like you have enough experience of this to last a lifetime!

Any advice on how to broach the subject with DH?

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Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 27/12/2019 17:59

If you just say nothing, will he go ahead and organise it or will nothing happen? I think you should at the very least settle into your new roles for a bit before deciding. And cost the dog walkers and insurance you will need.
Does it need to be a puppy?

NuffingChora · 27/12/2019 18:09

Yep I’d also agree that throwing a puppy in to this particular mix is asking for trouble. Our dog predated our children by a few years, but had I had a crystal ball I’d have waited until children were primary school age. He’s lovely, impeccably behaved and small, and in spite of all of this still a massive inconvenience. Wouldn’t be without him, but tread carefully...

Chefwifelife · 27/12/2019 18:09

I’ve just sent him some of these messages saying I’ve been looking up some examples of people who have done the same thing and this is why comes up.

It’s a colleagues puppies. I could maybe broach the idea of not a puppy perhaps.

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HouseworkAvoider10 · 27/12/2019 18:12

Yes, you are nuts.
Truly daft.
You will sorely regret the dog, once the baby arrives.
One of my relatives made the same stupid decision as you and honestly, she can't wait for the dug to be dead and buried.

YearofMisAdventure · 27/12/2019 18:18

Why not try Borrow my Doggy instead?

Chefwifelife · 27/12/2019 18:53

Thanks again everyone. I really do appreciate the honest truth. DH is truly laid back and I just don’t think we can be with such a big commitment.

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