Names for family members

[TeaGirl3]

Hi there, I'm interested to know how other people and their children call family members.

My parents are very traditional, so we were brought up to call aunts and uncles as Auntie X and Uncle Y. I now have a three year old and so far, the idea hasn't even crossed my mind to teach my daughter to call aunts and uncles as I did. I understand it's important for some people, but it really hasn't been something I've given thought to.

I have a sister (she's the only aunt; my husband is an only child). Following a conversation with my dad today, it turns out that she feels she's not "significant enough", as we haven't been referring to her as Auntie X. We always buy her Auntie birthday/Xmas cards, so it's not as if we don't recognise the relationship she has.

I'm interested to know what others think and also what they call their child's aunts/uncles. Should we start calling my sister by the name she wants, or should we just continue as we are (as it's our daughter). My daughter has also created her own name for my sister, so it's not even as if we're using her actual name.

It's such a trivial thing, plus the fact that she hasn't spoken to me directly about it annoys me. My husband is also going through a health scare, so this is the least of my worries right now!

Thanks if you've got this far. Family politics always stress me out, so I'm grateful for any thoughts.

Your daughter just has one aunt and will only ever have just the one. Not referring to her as such seems petty in my opinion.

My dc's just call their aunts and uncles by their names , no titles like Auntie or uncle .
My nieces / nephews call me by my name too.
I don't see the problem .

Why don’t you talk to your sister direct - and why did she not talk to you directly about it? To me, it’s not an important thing either way but if it’s important to her, it seems odd she’s going through your father to get the message across. All she needed to do was to say ‘I’d like x to call me Auntie [name], if that’s ok’. Then you’d say, ‘oh fine,will do’.

Never crossed my mind not to refer to mine and DH's siblings as Aunty and Uncle. That's who they are. I didn't realise people didnt do this! We are Aunty and Uncle to our nieces and nephews too.

I don't see it as any different to calling Granny and Grandad that (or whatever variety of grandparent title you like).

It’s a sign of respect to call extended family members Aunty, Uncle, etc,. It also denotes their relationship to your child. I understand where your sister is coming from. I don’t think it would hurt to have your child call her Aunty.

I’m auntie to my sister’s kids. Last year they made my dp’s year by calling him up and telling him they wanted to call him ‘uncle’ too.

It’s ultimately up to you, but for me it’s not about respect it’s about a nice family bond - a special name that just they get to use for those people similar to other family names eg mum, dad, gran etc

My DD (5)

Your sibling would like to be known as auntie so what the issue with referring to her as aunty? Do your other family members get called by their names? Does your dad get called by his name or grandad?

Posted too soon lol.

DD is delayed in her speech but still calls my sisters aunty x and aunty y. She says one of their names slowly because its harder to pronounce but she still does it. I still call elders in the family by their titles but I guess its different strokes and all that.

My DD just calls all aunts and uncles by first names, my nieces do the same. We did the same growing up though, it was only grandparents that got a ‘title name’. The only exception is my goddaughter who calls me Auntie Em

My children used to say auntie x or uncle y when they were younger but now they're 19 and 14 they just call them by their names.

Each to their own though, especially as your DD has made her own name for the auntie.
Maybe encourage auntie (whatever DD made up) as it clearly means a lot to your sister. So auntie JoJo or whatever.

I don’t think it’s “very traditional” to refer to siblings of your parents as Aunt and Uncle - seems perfectly standard. What WOULD be “very traditional” would be calling all the adults in her life Auntie and Uncle, as a mark of respect accorded automatically based on age. This is not something i’d do. But my and DH’s siblings are our children’s aunts and uncles, so they call them that.

I suspect she's not raised it directly, as she knows it's not up to her.

Your DC are her only chance to be an auntie. My take on it is: That mattered to her. It's not happened. She has mentioned her hurt feelings tomsoneine else, because she thinks she would BU to expect you to act on them. She needed a little rant to help her get over it.

Unfortunately her confidante decided to meddle, and you now know you've hurt her feelings.

Y choice is to carry on as you are (she's coning or cone to terms with it over the years anyhow) or quietly encourage DD to start calling her Auntie Nickname

Thanks everyone, it's much appreciated.

We probably referred to them us Aunty/uncle x when dcs were younger, but not so much now they are older teens.