Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Upset that daughter looks like me

34 replies

debsrose56 · 26/12/2019 22:29

I know this sounds really strange as most parents would love their babies to look like them, but I really hate how I look and always have, I've never had any confidence and I would class myself as ugly. My daughter is 1 month old and the absolute image of me as a baby and its really upsetting me as I want her to have the best start and was hoping she would look like her dad (who is very good looking) or a least mix of the two of us but she is identical to me. I know I sound really silly and I haven't spoken to anyone about this but I feel really sad about this and really want to shake it off but I cant, could it just be hormones? I even get a bit tearful about it. Dont know what I'm asking for advice wise really, has anyone else felt like this?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
peoplepleaser1 · 27/12/2019 12:22

So much good advice on this thread already OP. My son looked exactly like me as a baby, and very very like me until he was 9. Now he is the image of his dad....

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 12:23

She will change, but work on your self esteem for her sake in the future

Curlyeyelash · 27/12/2019 17:53

Appearances aren't everything! Some of the most successful and interesting people I have met haven't been what is generally considered good looking. Stop worrying about the way she looks and focus your efforts on raising her to be smart, funny, confident etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Babies & sleep Behaviour & development Families
MarshaBradyo · 27/12/2019 17:55

Chin up if your Dh is very good looking then you haven’t put him off. Your dd will be fine. You need to live past it and love her for how she is otherwise she’ll feel bad about herself.

MarshaBradyo · 27/12/2019 17:55

Move past it.

GaaaaarlicBread · 27/12/2019 17:57

@Tensixtysix can I just say I know you had good intentions but I have big freckles , what’s so ugly about them ?

OP I’m sure you’re both beautiful , maybe look into some counselling for self esteem ?

MarshaBradyo · 27/12/2019 17:59

Nothing wrong with freckles. Even big ones. Although I’ve never seen big freckles, are they merged? (My siblings used to say that would happen to me). One of my dc has a smattering of tiny freckles across their nose which I think is v cute. Although they’re not in the Aus sunshine and mine have been watered down.

ConstanceL · 27/12/2019 18:11

This is so sad. Despite being told I was pretty throughout my life, I have never considered myself to be. But when my son turned out to be my mini me, he is so beautiful that at last I have started thinking maybe I am not so bad looking after all :) It's quite heartbreaking that your daughter is not beautiful in your eyes - please don't ever let on to her about how you feel about this.

SmileyClare · 27/12/2019 18:11

could it be hormones. I get tearful about this and can't shake it off

Yes I think you might have postnatal depression, particularly if this issue is taking up your thoughts and making you feel down. It's really common to feel out of sorts 1 month after childbirth, mainly due to your hormones being a bit all over the place.

PND can manifest in funny ways and I think it would be worth chatting to your health visitor or gp about feeling down, tearful and obsessing about things. It might be making it difficult to rationalise your thoughts.
You don't have to go into details about your appearance if you don't want to. Health visitors can give you a short questionnaire to fill out to determine if you are depressed and go from there.

It'll really help to talk to someone. I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy your beautiful baby Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page