How does anyone do it?!

[Peachy92]

How the hell do you give your baby the best and still work full time & get housework done!! There's only 24 hours in a day. 12 of those I'm out the house for dropping off / Collecting ds from nanny's and working full time. Getting in gone 6 to do ds dinner bath bed routine followed by clearing it all up making my own dinner and lunches / bottles for the next day. 2 days of a weekend entertaining / keeping a 1 year old alive whilst trying to do all washing / cleaning / tidying. God forbid there's a family event on one of these days😤
I'm either really shit at this or other people are lying (I hope). My house looks like an effing warehouse I have nowhere to put Christmas presents because my husband is officially a messy hoarder. Feel at my wits end and fed up of repeating myself in never ending Groundhog Day. I DO talk to my husband. He KNOWS it's draining me. Yet sweet FA has changed. We're up to our eyes in debt and can't see anything changing any time soon. Is there another human out there who can relate?!

Yes I'm in the same boat!

Only went back to work this week after having my second child.

Getting in in the evenings and trying to make time for the dc aswell as getting everything ready for the next day, having bottles to sterilise.. I left the washing for two evenings this week which resulted in me having to do two loads yesterday.

I really don't know if this is sustainable long term. The only think I can think is it should get easier as the baby gets older with less organising.

You literally cant sit down...its worse with a toddler as they make even more mess, and if they drop the nap on weekends im screwed!!!!

Come in a 6.15pm take over from husband to do bath, bottle, book and bed- shes in bed by 7/7.30. Then I clean up whilst making dinner, shove a load of washing in- eat dinner c. 8.30/9pm....clean again, hang up washing, go to sleep. If husband is home in the day (self employed) he will hang up a load of washing.
Usually properly clean the bathroom at the weekends, either first thing whilst DD eats her breakfast, or during her nap time. Get round to my paper work once in a blue moon, and my ironing is through the roof.
I do delegate jobs to husband- Ive got better at realising he doesnt see what needs doing, he needs telling.

I DO talk to my husband. He KNOWS it's draining me. Yet sweet FA has changed

I take it from this that he does fuck all to help out with the workload.

This is the trick. I'm out of the house 8-6, Mon to fri, with two small dc. However the reason it's not as stressful as you describe is because dh and I take equal responsibility for the kids and the house.

I'd rather do the whole lot alone than have someone in my home who did nothing to help me.

My house is a tip , I take a lot of shortcuts (dry shampoo , not ironing clothes , baby gets pouches, etc etc). I don’t sleep much. I have a 2yo and a baby x

I'm just trying to be less stressed about the house being clean! We use online shopping, batch cook as much as possible, aim to keep the kitchen tidy and clean as we go along, do a load of washing every other day. Then cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, mopping etc get done much less often...dusting almost never
I get a bit more time in the evenings to keep on top of things as I aim to work 8 till 4, so I'm usually home by 5 and baby is so exhausted after nursery she's usually in bed by 6... I'm sure that will change when she is more used to it!
Other things... I ditched bottles and formula as soon as I could which does save a bit of time! We got rid of the last one at about 12.5 months, and she didn't seem to mind.
But yeah, mainly I am trying to lower my standards!

It can be tough, can't it. One thing that I do differently is eat dinner together. Yes it means we eat a bit early, but seperately cooking and cleaning two meals is way to much work. Then after dc is in bed you are "off" for the rest of the evening.

Actually just realised, OP why are you making up bottles? LO is over 1? Cows milk so much easier.

I'm out of the house form 8-6. I do it all by having a DH who pulls his weight, I do nursery drop off he does pick up, ds gets a light dinner at nursery so afterwards we give him porridge or a portion of what we are having, we all eat together at 6:30 - I have a list of meals which are 20 mins start to finish which are out weeknight meals. 7pm bedtime routine begins, not always a bath. Put a wash load on each evening rather than all at weekends, I do bedtime DH empties washer into drier and loads dishwasher, dishwasher is emptied on a morning while DS eats breakfast. it takes some getting used to, but the routine you have before baby needs to be updated.

Why are you making bottles and sterilising them? Cows milk and a cup is fine.

You aren't in the house to make a mess in the week.

Lower your standards!

You husband needs to sort his shit out too. That would be top of my list!!

Loving the honest replies! And credit to you all - little man is one this week and once this formula is gone he's getting no more I just didn't want to waste it. He refuses to drink cows milk bottle or cup so am increasing his calcium elsewhere. He eats and drinks great minus the milk in hindsight I should have stopped earlier but FTM syndrome meant reading all the online stuff and trying to stick to it (rookie mistake obviously)
But yes boils down to DH is lazy and even when instructed does it wrong - takes too long - makes more mess cleaning. I should just be used to it! I keep trying to lower my standards but I've always been a no clutter person so ran around all the time after Hub before ds was born I just didn't realise before how much of my life it takes up. I'll be spring cleaning and decluttering new year so hopefully more space less mess! Have a hairy husky which doesn't help as ds is always covered in hair even when I've just hoovered and brushing / grooming him is another endless chore! But hey I signed up for it I'll just try and make the best of it bar the odd rant! I'm always told little man is so clean and well dressed and looks so cared for ... big happy bubbly boisterous boy with a mouth full of pearly whites who makes me proud every day so it's definitely worth it.

Do feel bad for DH as I look 10 years older in 1 year and feel pretty grotesque and dowdy most of the time. Have no inclination or energy for sex either, genuinely don't feel like me.. rather have a tidy clean house and happy clean well looked after bubba than make effort on us right now. We had 10 baby free years for that it's not my priority anymore ... good mum / bad wife! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Another vote for lowering standards! Your children will only be young once, housework can wait.

Your partner needs to pull his weight. Whether that's cleaning, walking the dog, doing bath and bedtime whilst you have a tidy - whayever.
We can both get so much more done whilst DC is out the way so every now and again (usually a weekend day) one of us will do something with DC ,(swimming lesson, park, whatever) and the other will have a quick blitz.

Consider having the dog professionally groomed periodically. It's amazing how much hair they will be able to blast out.

I basically never clean anywhere apart from the bathroom and kitchen worktops. Bit of hoovering here and there... that's it!

@InkogKneeToe do have dog groomed but 1 it's more money and 2 he's the same again within a week! Curse of the breed - he's also white so it's shows everywhere! I do choose son over house work but still Strive to do that once he's napping or down for the night but I guess it's a burn out for me sometimes. This year I think more me time and lower standards as you say. Might sound selfish but it's been a very selfless year so I'll aim for balance this time