Feel like my child doesn’t like me

[BlueMoon1103]

My DS is 9 months old and is going through a stage of being whingy, grumpy, won’t eat his food, won’t drink his milk and seems happier with my DM than with me. I’ve had enough and I just feel like he doesn’t like me at all. She doesn’t help by saying I need to ‘be more patient’ and ‘more compassionate’ and what she really means is let him do whatever he likes, no routine, no boundaries etc. which obviously I’m not going to do! Before he was born me and my DM got on very well but since I had him it’s like she prefers him over me, is dismissive when I try and talk to her, doesn’t listen to me when I ask to do/not to do certain things with him for example routine, milk at certain times and I’m just starting to feel like maybe she is actually right and I’m a bad Mum, he’s happier with her and I shouldn’t have had children. Before I had him I thought I’d be a good Mum, and my DM agreed but I’m really not and I know it. I love my DS but I don’t think he likes me and I’m really shitty as far as being a Mum goes. Not sure what the point in this post is, just wanted to write it down.

Course he likes you.
Maybe your routines are a bit strict is your mum right. If they are making him grumpy try to relax a bit.

Why not try relaxing a bit? Maybe he doesn't eat because he isn't hungry at those times?

This sounds like post natal depression. Please see your GP. Often it doesn't manifest until 9/10months or even a year. Feeling like a bad parent, low patience, being upset with baby's routine (or lack of), feeling the baby prefers someone else, frustration, anything like this is a huge red flag for PND. You will feel like yourself again given the right medication. It's not your fault, you are a good mum, your baby needs and loves you, it will get better. X

He loves you don’t worry. My boy is 8.5 months and if he’s going to be a whinge bot he does it with me. I can wrestle with him all day and then his dad will walk through the door from work and it’s like he’s had a personality transplant. Same with my mum and dad when I say oh he’s being a bit fussy today he puts on his best behaviour with them lol. Or alternatively he can be a good boy for me one moment and then I take him somewhere to meet other people with well behaved babies and he’ll act like Satan ha.
I also have a routine (not rigid in the daytime but like military precision for bedtime) and everyone does stick to it for me and does what I ask so I actually do think it’s pretty shitty for people to not do as you ask for your own child.
You’re a great mum and I’m sure it’ll be a phase that will pass. Ultimately you’re his mum and it’ll be you he wants when he’s poorly or needs a cuddle.

Of course he loves you, but routines?? Seriously please do yourself a favour and forget this. It's a baby. They need to eat when they're hungry. It sounds like you're depressed and putting pressure on yourself. Relax. Worry about routines and sleep schedules etc when they are 2 years or something.

Would the EASY routine help?

Eat/ Activity/ Sleep (You time).

There are no set times or lengths attached to it- you just keep repeating the cycle.

One of my twins is going through this stage too. Have you got the "Wonder Weeks" app? It helps tracks their leaps in development which often explain odd behaviour! Please remember you are your babies safe place - the one person they feel comfortable and safe with to let their emotions show. And because you are around them 24/7 you will see it all - everyone else will pop in and out depending on visits/work/etc, but you are always there. Stay positive - they will pick up on anxiety/bad mood. Sending hugs!