5 days into parenthood

[MrsHampshire2017]

This is so hard. We’ve had feeding issues (hopefully resolved with a nip shield) which literally broke me with mum guilt. I have a new found biscuit and milky tea addiction and only eat a healthy meal once a day (I eat 3, but not overly healthy ones). All this and I have so much help - I have no idea how I’d cope without my family!

Any tips for a clueless new mum and when does it get slightly easier?

This is all normal .

It gets easier gradually, which means you won’t notice until your “baby” comes over with the iPad and asks you to switch on Peppa .

Sleep whenever you can (day or night), and ask people for help. I had DH bring me a big mug of water ahead of each feed, and he’d make sandwiches for me before work so that I was eating something decent. Healthy quick meals, Stir fries, soups etc are also great if you’re worried about eating too much junk.

I felt exactly the same as you 5 days in...my family literally did everything as I couldn't figure out how I was meant to keep a little tiny baby alive and keep myself showered and the house tidy and meals cooked! It was so overwhelming. I thought I'd made a huge mistake that i wasnt cut out for.

Also feeding issues in that baby had tongue tie and didnt put any weight on for the first month so was constantly hounded by midwives and HV!

You're doing great, please don't feel guilty! My best advice to you is to accept any and all help and just sit on the sofa watching box sets and feed and cuddle your precious baby. It does get better as you get to know eachother. 9 months on and DS is a delight, but I do look back on those early days sometimes and wonder how the hell I ever got through it!

Congratulations on your new arrival! I found every day and week got a bit easier. Once I started to feel better physically that made a big difference because I could get out and about a bit better. Think I cried every day for about 8 weeks though! It will get easier.

Day 5 is the worst. If you are eating one healthy meal
a day then you are smashing it.

Get as much sleep as you can. Just do the very basics, shower, brush your teeth twice a day, eat and drink (lots) when feeding and sleep. Try to get baby into day light but don’t stress over it.

Congratulations on your baby All sounds normal to me. I'm impressed you're eating one healthy meal a day! It all feels so overwhelming at first but it will fall into place and you'll start to feel more like yourself in a few weeks I imagine.

Once feeding (whether that's breast or bottle) is established and you can see baby is gaining weight then that's one worry off your mind and you'll start to feel more confident. Don't worry about things like housework for now,
just rest as much as possible and take all the help from family that you can get. Before you know it your baby will be sleeping longer stretches, you'll be out and about more and this overwhelmed feeling will be a distant memory.

Thanks for all your advice and kind words 🙏

My Dh has now developed a cold. Sod’s law. Can he be around baby? Will baby catch it?

My baby is 9 days old. Love him but it's hard work and he's an easy child generally. Cluster feeding is a challenge and the pressure to keep all family happy with visits!

Ah bless you, DH having a cold isn't what you need right now! When my baby was 1 week old my DH got a cold and we were so worried about the baby catching it but he didn't. DH washed his hands constantly and made sure he didn't kiss the baby on the face for a few days.

Honestly things will start to feel more normal soon and your confidence will grow. My baby is 9 months now and it feels so crazy that I'm now reassuring a new mum as it feels like only yesterday that I was a new mum myself. You sound like a great mum already as you clearly care lots and mum guilt only comes from a place of caring and loving your baby.

Enjoy all the lovely baby cuddles!

Everyone is winging it really. Even them that put on a good show of being organised and having it all together. Babies don't come with instructions and no one can possibly understand how it is until they have done it. There's lots of books about babies.... not met a baby who's read them tho. Enjoy and get thru however you can. If the next hours all to much think about the next 5 minutes.

Aaahhh so glad I found this thread!! My baby boy is 9 days old and omg it's been overwhelming!! He came a month early, thankfully we had all the essentials but was a bit of a shock. He's doing well, but is feeding alllllll the time! But that's good really 🙂
@MrsHampshire2017, I also get alot of help so feel bad for feeling overwhelmed when I know I'm really lucky. I think everyone feels it though, whatever the circumstances. Xxx I hope your dh feels better soon.
@3rdtimelucky2019, cluster feeds are crazy, does yours have a particular time to go for it?! Mine always seems to get more intense in the mid evening. Also ditto on family /friends visiting... Half my office have tried to drop in, thankfully I work with my sil who has managed to pursuade them to hold off a little.

Hi, mine's a month old now and it has flown past! He took a while to establish feeding but is now a little chub. @Fivebyfivetwo He tends to cluster feed around 4-6ish in the evening and more recently, sometimes midmorning too! I have found the lack of sleep difficult, waking every few hours each night but I nap in the day and it helps. I do a bit of housework when he's having a day nap when I'm up to it but haven't cooked a proper meal, just quick and easy. Sounds like you're doing great