2 year old not talking

[Pinymama]

Hello!!
My son turned 2 last week and he doesn't talk, pretty much at all. A few days a go me and my partner went for lunch with his friend and his partner. She was sat next to my son and literally after 2 minutes she was asking me questions, 'doesn't he talk much?' 'Does he line his cars up?' Then decided to tell me he has autism!! (She has no medical training at all!) I'm not gonna lie I was shocked by her blunt and rude diagnosis after only being in his company for 5 mins.

My younger brother has autism so I thought I would notice if he had any signs of it and also my mother (who is a very panicky person) would of certainly mentioned it to me but I can't help get it out my head now.
I can't get a drs appt til after Xmas so I thought I'd come on here for a bit of advice.

The only thing my son says is 'what's that?!' He will occasionally copy something her hears but will never repeat a word that we tell him too even with loads of encouragement as soon as will ask him to say something he just shakes his head. Over the past year he's said lots of words mummy, daddy, hiya, bye bye, na night even potato but he just says whats that now! He understands everything I say so I wasn't too worried until this lady said that to me. My daughter who is now 5 had speech and language therapy but we couldn't get a referral until she was 3 so I have a bit of a wait. He starts nursery after christmas so thought maybe him starting nursery will help his speech.

He does like to line his cars up or stack them on top of each other he also gets frustrated when he doesn't get his own way (but don't most 2 yr olds?) he's very sociable and loves anyone that makes the effort to play with him, he's a great sleeper, fairly good eater and is good and making eye contact.

I haven't had his hearing checked since he was a baby but I will get that done after Christmas he's also still waiting for his 2 yr check with the hv.

Thanks for reading, I know it's a long winded post but I wanted to get as much info about my son on as possible.

Children start talking at all different ages, just like walking. Some just turned 2 year olds can hold a full conversation, some only have a few words.

At this age I think his level of understanding is the most important thing.

Does he understand what you say to him? Can he follow simple instructions such as bring me your coat, time for lunch etc and respond appropriately? If you are looking at a book together can he point to certain pictures if asked? ie point to the dog, cat, car etc? Can he point to his own, head, legs, hands etc if asked?

If the understanding is there then his speech should hopefully follow in due course.

All the 2 year olds I know love to line up cars, stack things etc. It's perfectly normal as part of more broader play. If it becomes obsessive or the only thing they do then it might be an indicator of other issues.

Totally anecdotal (although I understand your panic as my mum, brother and sister all have autism) but I didn’t speak until I was 3. I was capable of speaking, I just refused to as my siblings would speak for me and my parents didn’t encourage me to speak.

I still don’t talk that much now but I’m not autistic.

Chase up your HV for the check but try not to worry.

I know loads of kids who line up their cars.

Thanks for the replies, I wasn't really too worried about his speech until this lady pointed it out, I think he can speak but has 2 older sisters who just mother him and do everything for him I'm hoping that when he goes to nursery and he's on his own it will help him. He understands almost everything I say and he can follow my instructions perfectly well. I appreciate the replies so thank you very much

I was a bit concerned about DC3’s speech at his 2 year check, but the HV said to me that they’re more concerned with the child’s understanding of language than how much they talk at that age. And his understanding, ability to follow instructions etc was fine, so she said she wasn’t too worried.

But she did say it was something to keep an eye on, he’s being followed up with a possibility of being referred to SALT if his talking doesn’t improve at a pace the HV’s happy with.

Re. autism, speech delay can be a flag for autism, but speech delay in itself doesn’t equal autism. I’m pretty sure that lining cars up is normal for toddlers too. I’d only worry about that if it’s something he does obsessively. A child would need to be showing other autistic traits than those for any diagnosis to be made.
And autism is certainly not something that can be diagnosed 5 minutes after meeting a child, especially when the someone has no relevant training or experience.

My DC3 said hardly any words when he was 2. Now he's 10 and a bright boy who is doing well at school. It's worth following up and being referred to speech therapy, but hopefully he's fine and will catch up soon.

Children all talk at different ages! My 2.5 year old has been talking in sentences for months, we know 3 other boys within a month of his age and one talks well, one has only just started saying a few individual words but doesn’t put any together, and one doesn’t talk at all!

My eldest was speaking sentences at 2 but didn't walk till late, my 2nd and 3rd DD didn't speak till well after 2 and when they did it was clear they knew all their colours, shapes etc, they had just had siblings who spoke for them or were too busy running about ( they both walked early, the last one at 8 months). I don't think not talking is proof of anything x

Go thru the chat test
It s about joint attention.
Read a book with him. Close your eyes and continue saying what is on the page. Fors he notice?

m-chat.org/

Does he notice
Does he bring things to you look what I found?

My eldest was talking in full sentences at two so I panicked when my youngest didn't start talking. He eventually started with a few words at around two and a half. He always had good understanding which is very important but no real interest in speaking.
We took him to a speech therapist and followed up on her suggestions and now
he is a chatty little five year old with a wide vocabulary.
He still struggles with some words but I have no more concerns.
Lack of speech can be an indication of a bigger problem but there's no need to worry yet. Ignore the silly woman who decided to 'diagnose' your son and just keep talking to him. That was by far the best important thing. Good luck.

The most important thing

My eldest didn't talk for ages and I was getting really worried then at about 3.5 he just started in full sentences and now never shuts up. My youngest however, spoke very very well at a very young age and could repeat clearly any word said to him. Then guess which one ended up being diagnosed with asd? The younger one. It was down to his behaviours, meltdowns and stimming not the speaking. So I don't think you can diagnose on the basis of a quick meeting.

I wouldn't panic, however, given the family history, I would seek medical advice and get him in the system. The thing that would concern me is that he has 'lost' language.
I have a child who was diagnosed at nearly 9 with high functioning autism.
Many people sought to reassure me when I raised worries when he was your sons age. For years teachers/ nursery said he was 'quirky'. My mum really struggled with the diagnosis.
It may well be he just has a language delay. However, the main thing I have learned is there is no harm in having them in the system to 'watch and wait', and that nearly everyone will reassure you(especially family), even though post diagnosis lots have people said something along the lines of 'I did wonder', when I have told them the diagnosis.
Good luck.

Thanks for all the replies! I've got him a drs appointment next week so I will speak to them about it. It may just be that he has a slight delay and start speaking well soon but I would rather get him speak to the doctors and get this looked into. It is more the fact that he's previously said words that he now doesn't, back then he was never interested in the tv but has since become a big fan of peppa pig and we have it on in the background most of the time we're home I'm not sure if that's anything to do with it or I'm just looking for excuses but we're now limiting tv time and he's since come back out his shell (not talking as such but making more sounds and being generally louder!) hopefully I'm worrying over nothing but if there is an underlying issue we can be prepared will keep this updated when we have any changes for anyone that might be going through similar. Thanks again x

hiya how did you get on with your son after his appointment ?

The lack of speech wouldn't be a concern to me as they develop at different ages etc but the regression of speech may be.

The main concern for me (as a speech therapist) is that he used to say some words and has since stopped.

My DS (2 years and 2 months) was exactly the same when he turned two. He had said random words a few times but then didn't say them again. He understood everything I said. Then suddenly a few weeks ago he started talking. Not just single words but 2 or 3 together sometimes and he has come on leaps and bounds since then. I had been concerned a few months ago and mentioned it to the health visitor but she asked a couple of questions such as down he make eye contact and was happy with my responses. I also had a discussion with the nursery and they put a support plan in place. He gets weekly one to one support with language development and they also engaged him in bubble blowing with one of the wands that children love playing with as it helps to develop the muscles needed to speak.

Hi, I am not an experienced parent but I once lived with a guy ( we were both part of a graduate scheme for a major bank), he was very intelligent, he was not autistic and he had not spoken till he was almost 5! I found this very shocking but it goes to show kids will do things when they are ready.

The people saying that your child is autistic are very rude BTW.