9 week old baby kicking off when dummy falls out. Tired mummy!

[Dontbsicily]

Hello,

Initially wasn’t sure if I was going to give my LO a dummy and she wouldn’t actually take it initially but, at about 5 weeks, we tried it when she was wanting to feed constantly and not giving me any sleep and we soon realised that she was just comfort sucking. It was a god send and she would self settle (with the aid of dummy and white noise) every night, sleep for 4-6 hours and then wake for one feed and go straight back down for 2-3 Hours.

Since having her jabs a week ago, she has been a bit fussy so I wonder if it could be that but she seemed absolutely fine in herself for a few days and just a bit sleepy afterwards.

She now will go to sleep as normal but will wake up at least 20 times through the night for her dummy. Nothing will suffice, not even the breast (makes her scream louder) and she will go blue in the face until she gets her dummy. She seems to settle for 1-2 hours twice through the night and the rest of the time I’m sat pooping her dummy back in and not sleeping.

I’m not a fan of the cry it out method and she won’t settle from being cuddled anymore. It seems we have allowed her to become reliant on the dummy. Which isn’t an issue to me in itself if she likes it but, I need some bloody sleep :( any advice would be much appreciated!

Apologies forgot to say! She is currently 9 weeks old and unable to put it back in herself

Oh you can tell I’m sleep deprived. I did bloody say it, it’s in the title 🤦🏽‍♀️

You just need to wean her off it. She's so little she should forget about it in a few nights. Make sure you do it gradually though or you'll significantly increase her risk of SIDS.

What? Significant increase in SIDS risk from suddenly removing a dummy, I find that very hard to believe

OP unfortunately I think it might just be her age. My youngest slept from 7pm til 7am with one feed from 3 weeks, then at 10 weeks started waking all the time. He is 8 now and still not a great sleeper. Hesucks his thumb, makes no difference.

Co - sleeping might help?

Is it your first baby? Lucy Wolfe has a gentle self settling approach which I've heard is very effective, but she doesn't recommend until baby is 6 months. We sleep trained my baby at 10 weeks (with cry it out method, albeit a very gentle version as he was so young) based on an approach by the blissful baby expert and although it was tough for a few weeks, he has slept through since he was 14 weeks old (only recently waking a few times at 5am as his first tooth came in - almost 8months) Without going cold turkey on dummy which inevitably involves a little crying, I've not heard of any other way to get baby to stop waking for dummy in the night once they're used to it. I absolutely understand parents not wanting to do cry it out, in fact we never intended to do it ourselves, but after 10 weeks of a baby waking every 45 mins and only settling with my boob in his mouth we were at breaking point and I was getting to the stage where I was frankly, almost unable to cope. It was in hindsight, the single best decision I've ever made as a parent.

Hello! Thank you for your tips. She is indeed my first baby so I’m just running around blindfolded at the moment trying to learn her ways at the same time that she does!

No matter what, I want what is best for her so, I’m happy to take the dummy away or let her keep it but I’m struggling to function with such little sleep. She was a terrible sleeper at the beginning and I was incredibly sleep deprived and so worried, when I was nodding off whilst Bfeeding etc, that I could cause her harm so to me, the dummy was a no brainier and the long stints of sleep made me feel like a new woman but we appear to now be back to square one!

Unfortunately, that's bloody babies for you. As soon as you think you've got something sorted they up their game and everything does to shit again.

Rather than trying to 'fix' her sleep you might need to accept it's going to be awful for a bit and go back to basics - sleep when she sleeps, get partner to take a weekend night / one in the week where you just get up to feed but he does all the other wake ups, see if someone can have her for a bit in the day so you can sleep etc.

9 weeks is still very young I'm afraid - you were very lucky to have the pattern you described - this new situation sounds much more normal!

@QuentinWinters it's completely irrelevant what you do or don't find difficult to believe

@Lantern19 I'm intrigued, I weaned my 4mo off her dummy in 3 days and wasn't aware of any risks. Can you link please?

@Lantern19 appears to be extrapolating from the actual evidence and coming to their own conclusions

httpswww.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/dummies-and-sids/

@lantern19 That is UTTER bollocks. In fact, the truth is that there is evidence that dummies may reduce the risk of SIDS in young babies, but there is absolutely no evidence that removing that dummy will then increase the risk of SIDS. Removing a dummy will simply put you back in the same position as if you had never used a dummy.

Some lovely advice here OP, although I must admit that in the early days I really did struggle to "sleep when the baby sleeps" as I've never been a great napper. I've always been envious of those that were able to, as I imagine it would help immensely.

What helped with mine was tummy sleeping but that is a SIDS risk....just as pp said I was falling asleep holding him which is a much bigger risk of accidental suffocation. We went from waking every 45 mins to every 3 hours which I could live with.

OP we had the same problem, we moved up to the next size dummy and that reduced the amount of times it came out. Hope it helps x

This brings back memories - don't make the same mistake that I did. My baby used to wake when she lost her dummy so I had the bright idea of giving her one to hold as well so she would have one handy.

What happened instead was that she refused to sleep without at least 3 dummies. One in her mouth and one in each hand.

My 2 did this. They just couldn’t keep dummies in and it was more trouble than it was worth. I’d get rid of the dummies. We just went cold turkey and it was fine. Plus side is you don’t have the struggle of getting rid of them several years down the line.

My baby is 5 months old and I'm
Having this same issue! I think the last 6 weeks have been worse. I wish I'd never given it to her now 😭. If she's in a light sleep she can wake over 30 times a night for it! But it's not actual waking but I feel
If I don't put the dummy back then she will wake up. Can't win.

Hi all! Thanks for all of your tips and advice! I’m hoping that this is just a phase or a direct result of her having a combo of jabs/cold but we shall have to wait it out and see!

Not a fan of the cry it out method so early on as she’s still such a wee bean at this age but I may have to try it if she won’t give up the dummy later on! After getting lost in google today I’ve just ordered the most expensive dummy in history called a wubbanub. It was £19 and is basically a teddy attached to a dummy which when you lay it on top of LO, is seemingly more difficult to lose. 2500 reviews on amazon giving an overall 4.5/5 stars swayed me so, I will see how we get on tomorrow night and let you know!

(Side note, LO has been sound asleep with dummy still in for past 25 minutes, let’s see how tonight goes too!) 🤞🏻

So.. my little angel went to sleep with dummy at 11.45pm and woke up at 6.30am completely dummy-less and perfectly happy! Either it was just a phase after those nasty jabs or last night was a fluke but either way, at least I am armed With a good nights sleep for tonight’s shenanigans!

Thanks again for all of your advice! :)