Boyfriend keeps falling asleep with newborn on chest.

[DamnitCharlie]

What the title says really, it's pissing me off. He's fallen asleep in a chair and a bed at the hospital already with our 1 day old on him. I wouldn't mind as much if he was in the middle of our king size bed but there is a SIDs risk and she might fall when he's asleep. I can't trust him to hold while I sleep for a bit and she won't sleep in the cot for long so I've been up all night watching him if he's holding her. He doesn't seem to think he's doing anything wrong!

Maybe encourage him into your king size bed. Why would he choose to sleep in a chair when there is a bed available.

I’d have a word or even get a midwife if you’re still in the hospital and just explain how serious the risks are. He really shouldn’t be so nonchalant about it. Don’t be afraid to hammer the point home as it’s better he be offended than something awful happen.

Congratulations on your baby

Agree, get midwife to talk to him. SIDS risk is forty times higher in a chair.

My DH was a bugger for this, too. I kept reading him articles on SIDS and sleeping in chairs. He did eventually stop- it wasn't deliberate, he just accidentally fell asleep.

My DH was bad for this too. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the risks to be fair, he'd take DS so I could have a sleep on the sofa next to them and would be happily watching tv or whatever, then next minute out like a light. DS is 11 months now and a bit more sturdy, but I've deliberately never left him with DH in this kind of situation since; only if they're laid safely on the bed together. I guess the difference is that I have to be in bed to fall asleep and DH can sleep anywhere, which in this case was definitely not an advantage!

I used an independent midwife for dds birth. She advised dh to let dd sleep on her front on his bare chest in bed - sprawled, not held in place. She was just in a nappy so skin to skin contact - on a chair, clothed or having drunk alcohol is a different thing entirely. Idk what the guidelines are today.

The guidelines are safest sleep is in a cot or crib on their back feet to the bottom with nothing loose!

I struggle with no sleep and have fell asleep holding/breast feeding DS a couple of times (he is 9 weeks) so he has a sleepy head which really helps with his sleep! People say they are a SIDS risk but he is at much greater risk if I suffocate him because he won't sleep in his crib and I fall asleep holding him 😣

I have the same issue. It pisses me off even now with my 5 month old. And my DH is really overweight so I can't even let them sleep in the bed Incase he rolls in top of him. (Such a deep sleeper)

The other day I sat and watched them both asleep in the arm chair and my DS moved and smothered his face into DH chest and couldn't move out of that position. DH didn't even stir. Thank god I was watching.

I have not been able to catch up on any sleep, it's exhausting.

I would suggest maybe call the HV or midwife privately and tell her you need support with the issue , then when they visit you she can really explain that it's not safe. Maybe he will listen to a professional?
Good luck

Why is he so tired? You’re the one who has just given birth. Surely, he just needs to sleep when he isn’t holding the baby. There are 24 hours in a day. I would imagine he’s hopefully involved, but he’s not breastfeeding or anything. You need to do things in shifts and one has the baby while the other sleeps, regardless of what time it is.

For the first 6 weeks with both of ours, dh took them from 7pm to about 12/1am (while I slept, he’d wake me for a feed) and then I’d take over from then until 6am (while he slept). I also napped where I could during the day, as did he, if he needed to, though everyone can survive on 5 unbroken hours of sleep so he often didn’t need to.

Yeh, that's a problem. So dangerous. I agree a midwife talking to him might help.
I disagree with the poster who questioned why he is so tired though. I think it's perfectly reasonable for both the father AND the mother to be utterly exhausted woth a new baby. But it is also reasonable to use common sense with baby safety.