Newborn baby. How to get 3 year old to bed?!

[Booberella9]

DC2 is 4 weeks old now. DC1 is nearly 3 and increasingly impossible to manage. Too big for me to carry. Very defiant, since before baby arrived, just getting worse. Will shout at me, hit and kick. When DH is around I spend as much 1 to 1 time with him as I can. But most week nights DH gets back from work after DC1 bedtime. How can I persuade DC1 to do teeth, toilet, bed etc? He was already screaming no and hitting before DC2 arrived so it's just got worse and worse the worst is the nights when he has refused to eat dinner, he is then obviously starving at bedtime and it's literally impossible.

Bribery. If he loves smarties/lollies he can have a packet the next day if he goes to bed well. Follow through though.

I was lucky as my child had a dreadful memory so 80-% of the time they forgot.

It's bloody hard though the first few months trying to get used to a new routine.👊

Lie with him? Put them both in the bed with you and go to sleep? It is a bit shit but should only be a week or so.

@cleaning247 I'm already bribing him for toileting and yes most of the time he forgets feel sort of guilty! Not sure if he will tolerate "tomorrow" but will give it a go.

@MiniGuinness that used to work when he was younger.. now he will talk endlessly and then when he's run out of things to say start kicking and hitting, jumping on the bed, jumping on me etc. I could try ignoring him and see if he eventually lies down of his own accord I guess. Just will take a very long time. Last time I tried it was over 40 mins.. DH arrived home and he was still going..

My daughter was like this when sibling arrived. I think its them still getting used to the massive change their lives. We just ended up kind of giving up with bedtime for a bit. I just let her sit with me in the dark in the front room and I watched telly (boring adult TV, something like homes under the hammer or question time) and she would fall asleep. It is honestly not worth the battle. He will settle down and you will all get into a routine and this will be a distant memory!
Its so hard when you are in the midst of it but its all up in the air and nothing is 'normal' dont worry about bad habits or anything of that, you will all naturally fall into a decent routine.

No magic solutions but I really struggled with this too - I was also always doing bedtime by myself. Good luck! It will get better....