Poor behaviour after school in 5yo

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

Can anyone help me?

I have a 5yo DD who until now has been a dream to parent. We had very few tantrums, she was a good talker and was always able to express her frustrations and we hardly had any problems.

I was a SAHM until she was 3.5 then worked 2 days a week until I had DS (4mo).
She started school this September and every day she's a fucking moany little so and so. I understand she's tired and hungry, I have been so patient and tried to be as understanding as I can. I thought it might be better after half term but it wasn't really.

On her worst days we have screaming, stamping tantrums because I ask her to get changed after school before she eats, to save the uniform. Sometimes she does this just on the way to the car!

Twice I've actually had to help her get changed because she's in such a state.
If I arrange a play date or something fun she's fine!

Best days she's just a little bit moany.

Today we've had a little cry because of something minor which I helped her sort out, then she's just been moany and that irritating kind of whiny voice. Also constantly wanting attention or speaking. I asked for a minute of quiet to concentrate (texting her grandma to arrange Christmas presents etc) and she seemed incapable of shutting up!

Then after tea she was so rude and moany I had to walk out of the kitchen and do 'jobs' so I wasn't in the same room as her

She's so lovely but right now she's annoying AF (only after school) and I don't know how much of her behaviour I should be correcting, how much I should let go because I totally get she's exhausted after school and hungry, but surely everyone has a limit and secondly you still have to correct that behaviour don't you?

Also I just wanted a moan. She accidentally just broke a Christmas decoration and when I asked her to stop playing with it so I could fix it she carried on and made it worse.
I've told her I'm disappointed and am hiding in the kitchen.

What can I do?
If I can't do anything and just have to put up with it until she gets a bit older, how much longer does it go on for?!

I should add it's almost entirely because of tiredness after school, I don't think it's to do with new sibling as she doesn't moan about him and loves him to bits, and she's not like this in holidays or weekends!

Mine was like this! It does get better I promise. For us it was giving a snack as she came out and trips to the library as that broke up the journey home that helped.

Yes I remember this. You do have to let most of it go. Although I did use to tell dd to speak to me in her normal voice. Still do sometimes. Can't abide the moany voice.

Poor DD she's only 5, give her a chance to adjust to school/ new little brother/ sharing a mother and on top of it all learning phonics!!

Having to change clothes is a huge daunting task when you are 5. I'd just let her eat with the uniform on (doesn't she do that at school anyway) or just dress her in normal clothes for school (assuming this is an option) because at the end of the day is it really worth it?

Thank you for your replies. I will carry on trying to suck it up.

I honestly do a lot of cajoling and helping and patience etc but I've obviously hit my wall today! Tomorrow is play date so should be lovely and the following day swimming so a different routine (and something more concrete to moan about!)

She wears a uniform NoKnit which I'd rather not change every day, but you're right perhaps I don't need to be so rigid.

Ok. Sucking it up! Wish me luck. My mum always tells me the first 40 years are the worst...

You might want to remind her that Santa does keep an eye out for naughty children this time of year.