How to afford childcare with two children under two?

[Deckthehalls123]

I think I know the answer to this question but just wondering if there’s any loopholes/support I don’t know about.

Have DC who is 1yo and goes to nursery 2 days a week (£460pm). I’ve gone back to work on reduced hours so if I took maternity leave again my pay would be rubbish/non-existent for the year.

I would absolutely love to start trying for another soon but if second baby was anything like my first, I can’t imagine coping with no relief through the week (even half a day relief would make it seem manageable!). We have no family nearby to lend a hand, and I’ve read that once they’re in nursery it’s good to continue it anyway.

So how on earth do people continue to pay nursery fees for a 2yo while they’re on maternity leave? Is it purely a tight year? Has anyone any tips/reassurance on how they managed it?

The nursery have a minimum of two days a week, otherwise that would be perfect to drop down to one. I don’t actually think I’d need that much of a break, and as others have said maybe local playgroups would be a better solution. Just a couple of mornings a week would be fine.

Realistically we could afford it but it would mean cutting back on things. I guess you don’t know the true effect until you do it.

I waited for a 3 year gap. To qualify for maternity pay in a new job plus the free hours (12.5 a week at the time). Also playgroup is cheaper than nursery.

We kept DD1 in nursery 1 day a week when I was on maternity leave with DD2. TBH it wasn't enough, but we had a very small age gap so she was very little. DD2 went to nursery 3 days a week when we had DS but she was getting her free hours which reduced the cost, and the rest was covered with childcare vouchers (that you continued to get when on maternity leave, but the new tax free childcare won't work the same way) and she was starting school the next year so I didn't want to take her out of organised childcare.

It saves your place at nursery which is why people do it. But obviously not everyone can afford it. Apparently lots of women go back to work after their first child but not their second because of the cost of childcare. DH and I earn above average, and did even when working PT.

There are 11 months between mine (both planned). The elder one went to nursery 3 hours per day, but we saved up for this and other costs of having two close together before either was conceived.

We can't afford it either. Will have to wait until DD is at school.

I had 2 under 2 and took the oldest out of nursery. I don't agree at this age it is important to keep them in (I would agree it was with, say, a 3 year old). By the time you are ready to go back to word the oldest will be 2.5/3 and whilst it will be like them starting nursery again, they are much older and more likely to settle quickly (similar to a child starting nursery who's had a SAHP). However, selfishly, the main motivation for me was that I didn't want to be tied to having to get up and take my child to nursery and then pick them up later. I wanted to lounge around the house in my pyjamas and get dressed when I wanted (or not at all if it was a really bad night).

The main thing I did that was a godsend was to synchronise naps as soon as possible - and used the nap time to rest! No trying to complete chores etc. When the oldest got too old to nap, I still insisted he had "quiet time" in his room.

I'll be honest that the whole of second child's first year was a sleepless blur (oldest didn't sleep through the night until 3.5) but in some ways I think having the hard parts together made it easier long term!

@Booberella9 mat pay has to cover other bills too!

I had two under two. I worked 3 days a week. Two days in nursery and one at mils. Still paid her, but was less than nursery.

For about a year, most of my salary went on nursery fees. I saw it as a long term thing though and with every year, it got easier and cheaper.

I know a lot of women who gave up work and really struggled to go back once the children were older. It was a confidence thing.

Think of it as short term pain, long term gain.

I literally don't know anyone who has paid full time child care for 2. Everyone I know either quits work, has age gaps or heavily rely on family for help.

@chuck I know quite a few people that have.

I have loads of friends with a 21 month to 27 month age gap, and mine was 24 months. None of us who were working took dc1 out of childcare on mat leave. Often they reduced to 2 days. My one friend who was a sahm wasn't using childcare so was in a home routine with her toddler and didn't struggle - however she had her helpful dm around the corner for support. I didn't have anyone and dd1 would have been lost without 3 days of nursery routine, although we did find out later she has ASD so was particularly difficult.

If you can't afford it you can't afford it. I don't think children need nursery at 2 so if you're happy to have her at home, all is well.

@surreygirl1987 in my parts no one could afford too

Not a single person in your whole area? Wow - and well done for knowing everyone in your area!

in my parts no one could afford too

Lots of people save up before pregnancy to allow them to afford it.

Yeh that's what we've done. Planning ahead has been pretty key to us. We're hardly rich - we be living on my husband's salary and he is a teacher - he only did his NQT year last year! I guess some people might define me as 'can't afford to' if they wanted... I will after all be paying each day to go to work and second year teachers don't exactly earn much - we'll be living entirely on his salary. We will be able to pay the mortgage for the short period of time until my son turns 3 and qualifies for funding though, and won't starve though which is good enough for me. I can live pretty frugally luckily. I remember my mum telling me how she often used to have just one fish finger for dinner when my brothers and I were growing up in Birmingham to make sure we got enough to eat, in order to afford nursery for us - I guess people just manage in different ways! Not ideal but I'm determined to do it. I think it does depend on what suits a person/family best though... it is a very personal decision as for many families sacrifices have to be made. We haven't bought a TV licence this year for example, to save money, and won't be until my oldest is 3 years old.

A nanny is often cheaper once you have more than one child as you pay per family, not per child.

@surreygirl1987 oh find something better to do. I literally said in my 1st post that no one that i know can afford too. Not everyone. @golfbuggy

I live in a deprived area but your posts are enlightening.

Erm... you literally went on to claim that "no one" in your area could afford to; not just those you know 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not sure why you tagged me. Living in a deprived area doesn't mean you can't save ...
My children are now teenagers and I've worked (barring maternity leave) constantly. I had the most disposable income I've ever had (therefore able to save) in the years before I went on maternity leave. I would imagine this is the case for lots of people.

I had two under two and my eldest stopped nursery the day I went on mat leave. We also didn't have any regular family help. We just couldn't justify the cost. It was ok though - no school/nursery runs to rush for! In the last couple of months of mat leave (when she was 2.5), she went to a pre school for half a day that was £15 for 3 hours.

Not ideal but I get universal credit. It pays for up to 85% of my childcare.

I don’t qualify for anything else it’s just the childcare costs that are mostly covered.

I don’t know if I’m better off working or not working but not working wasn’t an option and I can’t afford to just live off DH.

Currently pregnant with DC2 and I’ll be going back to work after.

Not ideal but I won’t be on it forever.

I should add that DC1 will be staying in childcare while I’m on maternity leave. It was a pain getting her an available place so I’m not risking taking her out of childcare.

I have twins, and working would cost much more than I earn, so I’m a sahm for now. Admittedly most of the other mums I know have twins, and the vast majority of them are sahm, a couple work evenings or around their dp’s hours.

I plan on going back to work once the 30 hours free funding kicks in.

how did you manage in the end?

I've got 2 aged 12 months and 26 months. Nursery fees are a killer and I'm not really earning anything at all after they are paid, although I've got a good job. I see it as an investment though: I enjoy my work, I get to use my brain and have a baby break, my employer offers a really good pension, and in a few years I'll have a good salary and no nursery fees, and I'll feel like I've won the lottery.
OP - seriously, can you increase your hours a bit? If you were in an extra day a week (or maybe do some compressed hours eg fitting 3 1/2 days into 3), then your pay would increase a lot on your next mat break. Alternatively, does your line of work/experience offer any freelance opportunities that you could use in your spare time now/whilst on mat leave? I have a professional qualification, but now and again right articles for trade magazines associated with that. I certainly could not live off the earnings, but it's a nice extra bit that I can use when I want, and as it's not employment my employers don't know and would not care.