Losing my marbles.

[Kapsauss]

I don't know where to start.
I'm a single mum. Two kids - 7 and 8 y.o.
I just fucking lost it with them two.
I have spent whole day cleaning, clearing crap out, putting last of the decs up etc. Also several loads of washing, cooked dinner etc. Last week I spent a day, a whole fucking day, in their bedroom sorting it out! All old toys, clothes, changed their beds, put decs up, cleared and cleaned it from top to bottom. I've told them to keep it that way! I work full time. I also work from home. With the Christmas coming, it's a lot to deal with just by myself - ordering/wrapping presents, make it all Christmassy etc.
Tonight, after being on my feet whole day, running around, they sort of dipping in to help me when they complained they are bored - so told them to help me and they soon were "I'm tired!" and went on to sit on sofa watch their ipads in their room. Or so I thought!
I've just given them a bath and as their bedroom door has been shut all day - no reason for me to go in there last couple of days as it's clean since I literally wiped the skirting boards. I opened the door while they were in the bath to get pjs ready and it was like a fucking bomb had hit it! I just fucking lost it. Told them Santa will bring you bin liners for Christmas as you two literally have no respect for hard work! Now they are crying saying I'm being mean. Wtf? Really? There is a big bin and 5-6 crisps packets NEXT to the bin on the floor?! Also I have a rule - no food upstairs - wtf are crisps doing there in the 1st place?!
So now they are crying, I feel like shit and I literally want to cancel the Christmas shit and be done with it all. 😩

Take a breath.
Calm down.

Then, when you think you can do it calmly, get the children to go back into the bathroom and clean up the mess that they have made. They can come and get you when it is done.

Should have said, make it clear that you will forgive them for being silly and behaving like this, but they need to make it right by cleaning it up.

Things like this infuriate me too! There’s just some things that can make you lose your shit and cleaning for hours and to have someone mess it up is one of them! I don’t know if I would of used Santa in the equation but I certainly would of lost my shit too!

Very annoying indeed. It's difficult to get children to understand how hard it can be for mum to have to clear up after them all the time. Hopefully they'll learn. You're certainly not alone! Mine was dreadful.

They're a bit old to be believing in Santa, I daresay you were joking about that but on the day, you will give them presents and have a good time.

Oh it’s soo hard, I got cross with my daughter today because she broke my necklace. I felt soo guilty afterwards shouting at her. Sometimes it’s just soo overwheming. Running around and then they make a mess again

Just in case you don’t hear enough, you sound like you’re doing an amazing job. Full time working mum, house proud, organised.

I have to say that I would find it difficult working from home. I do like to escape I have to say

They know how much work it was as they were literally in there the whole day too - sorting out toys they don't want or that are broken, sorting out clothes they don't want/wear anymore, dragging stuff downstairs for me, just generally seeing the hard work and in the evening being in total agreement that they will not mess it up as it's hard work to sort it all out. And now - all for fucking nothing! Just... Fucking give me strength! They are going to have fabulous Christmas as always and they are never short of anything. They will get mostly everything they wanted from Santa. Not everything as ffs - one of them wants a really expensive puppy and that is a big NO for now! But as they are 99.99% of the time really good and - I'm actually feeling so fucking stupid for losing it - honestly can't ask for better kids to raise. Just I feel like every thing is on top of me atm - work - I'm slightly behind with stuff, presents to wrap, small amount of house work to finish before Christmas, school festivities to attend etc. Just. A lot on my plate. And I really would have loved to go to bed tonight thinking this and this and this + kids rooms are sorted. It's like smack in the mouth. Back to square one. Ughhhhhhh. 😭

@Bringonspring
Thank you! It's soo much hard work though, but I like a lovely house and being organised is just a part of me.
Bring On Spring indeed - first warm sun rays, ahhh..

If it helps, I am not a single mum but I do find the run up to Christmas exhausting. Not helped by various bugs going round the family the last few weeks. Everyone loses their temper sometimes and it sounds awful but if they are crying that means you have really got through to them. Doesn't mean they will be angels but I'm sure it's made an impression on them (in a good way, not that they will be traumatised)! Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

You have my sympathy. My seven year old shouted at me this morning ‘I don’t think you even LIKE Christmas!’. Trying to explain that it isn’t fucking Christmas yet and I still have ten days of paid work, housework, shit work, Christmas work and wife work left to go, seemed futile.
I’m not a single parent, but will be after Christmas.

Yes, I know how you feel!!
Mine is only 3, I work 3 full, very busy days that she is in nursery, I've no time to get all my jobs done, she literally won't let me have a minute!!!

We read, colour, bake, play, go out all the time!!
I don't get a minute!!

I'm begging nursery for an extra day but they're full.

My house, car are an absolute nightmare, washing out of control, I just want to press pause on life so I can have a good sleep and catch up!!!

Of course they aren’t too old for Santa!! That’s ridiculous!

What I do know, op, is that they still love you and they’ll forgive you. You sound like a good mum and we’re all human. Just apologise for losing your shit and explain that you were just so disappointed that they didn’t respect all of the hard work (yours and theirs!)

7 and 8 is definitely not too old to believe in santa! Kids grow up too quick, I think it's lovely when they still believe!

I lost it at my 2.5 year old today 😩 She screamed I don’t like it while throwing a pencil at me and I just yelled back at her that I don’t like it either. She’s going through a really difficult phase. She looked shocked & burst into tears as I also did.

I now feel quite guilty. But sometimes life is really tough with kids no matter what age. They don’t understand how hard the grown ups work to give them an easy life, food on the table & a clean house!

That said, it sounds like you do a lot of housework. Can you give yourself a break & not worry so much. I can’t remember the last time I dusted my skirting boards My bathrooms get a once a week basic clean, I hoover once a week, dust once a week.. my house feels clean enough. As for their rooms, obviously it’s nice to have a sort out but the world won’t end if their rooms are messy. Just ignore it and maybe set a rule you have a decent tidy altogether once a month!

Would your daughters listen if you sat them down & just talked through all the things you do each week to give them a nice home & life? That you work really hard & are sometimes very tired and need a hand.. they are probably old enough to take it on board?

@Bol87 I honestly do not over-do the housework, skirting boards had to be wiped as I had not done it since the summer holidays started :D And as I was down there on my knees anyway, sorting stuff out, I thought, might as well give them a wipe :D
It's all good now. We went to bed, next morning we spoke about it, I apologised for losing it and they apologised for making a mess. So far so good.
Last night, before I even went upstairs, they went up in their room and came downstairs saying "We have made sure the bedroom is clean, you can check now!" :D I said that I don't have to check, I believe you anyway. Which I do. I don't feel the need to check as I do trust them. I didn't go in there to check on Sunday night either, but because I wanted their pjs to be ready when they come out of bath, I had to go in there. Up and over with this parenting-being-a-responsible-adult-kind-of-thing.