Ds friends behaviour - wwyd?

[Tenpenceabag]

I have 2 DC, DS is 9. I am fairly strict about manners and behaviour. Quite a few of his friends that have been to tea seem to have hardly any table manners, I'm often reminding them to say please or thank you. Some of them have back chatted me when I've asked them for example, to sit down at the table, before being given food, or if I've given them a food they dislike.
Recently 2 friends came round to tea. One started putting food on his face and they were both throwing food at each other and over the table and the floor. If it was my own DC I would have got really cross but I feel like I cant do that with other children. I told them their behaviour was very immature (after I had to sweep the floor and clear up a lot of mess over the table)
I thought that at age 9-10 this is fairly silly and unacceptable behaviour but since I'm noticing lots of friends with bad manners, I'm worried my expectations are too high and that this is in fact, quite normal for that age? Am I being too strict?
I didn't mention it to the parents when they collected and both boys were very polite when their parents were there.

I don’t know! Yes it’s silly behaviour, but that’s all it is. Sometimes you need to turn a blind eye to these things and let the kids have a little fun. I’d let them throw food at one another (not letting on I know and just carrying on with my own thing) and then ask them to clean it up. Simples!
But I’m care free and I like to have a balance of things.

Yes children get silly and often escalate as they have a lack of self control. However, throwing food isn’t on. Demonstrates such a lack of awareness, respect and a wasteful attitude, when there’s plenty of humans without a scrap. I would have taken their plates away, got them to clean up, and when they were ready to eat the food, and not throw it, then they could have.

Ain’t nobody throws the food I’ve made for them around. My 3 year old knows not to. 9/10 year olds there’s no excuse.

I personally would put this down to them being excited (far too over excited) at being at their friends house rather than not having manners. Annoying and in all fairness if I was told me 9 or 10yr old had behaved this way I would have been embarrassed but if I was hosting them it wouldn't be my initial reaction to think they were intentionally being rude.

Oh I'm much harsher than pp's. In my house it's my rules and if you choose to ignore them you get one warning and then either I call your parents or I take them home myself. I've only taken one child home but suspect that was enough to warn the rest.

No. I don't think this is normal. My Ds2 has lovely friends and would never ever do anything like this.

Throwing food is never acceptable, and I'd have stopped it immediately if my daughters' friends had ever done it.

According to my eldest, it goes on a fair bit in the school canteen and on the bus. She's very judge about it.

Not normal behaviour for that age and very bad manners. I don't think you're strick, just teaching your children to have respect and use their manners.

I'd have told them off and told the parents. And probably not invite them back! There's having a bit of fun, and then there's downright rudeness, and I don't tolerate rudeness in my house.
I'm actually quite laid back about most things! But manners are important and so many children aren't taught them.

If it happens again, tell them that they either eat the food sensibly it you will take it away.
It's your home, and I would happily bet money that they don't do it in theirs. It's just silly behaviour that you need to crack down on.