Parenting slump with toddler

[flamingosoup]

NC for this because I feel so awful even writing this that I don't want it linked to my previous posts.

I have a 21mo DS. He is amazing; intelligent, funny, full of character and I love him to bits.
I am currently 7mo pregnant with my second.

I don't know if it's a combination of my son's age, being pregnant and having a bit of a MH slump at the moment, but I'm struggling to find much joy in parenting him (god that sounds awful) - Today moreso because he hasn't even had a nap.

My DH works shifts so seems is always at work or sleeping before work, and I don't have family locally, so weekends in particular drag for me. We also only have one car and DS is a nightmare on buses. I do my best to do engaging activities with him as much as I can- reading, colour/shape sorting, painting, drawings, puzzles.., etc etc, but I find that our days just drag, and sometimes I really don't look forward to parenting all day on my own. He wants me to run up and down with him, sit on the floor (which is not comfy for me right now) and play cars, or just do repetitive activities for hours on end- I know this is just him learnjng. I don't like putting the TV on, not only because I don't want him watching it, but I don't want to watch CBeebies myself! I try to get out with him as much as I can but the past few days have just been miserable.

Is this a natural stage or am I just in a horrendous place and need to have a stern word with myself / see my midwife or GP or something?

It's normal. Completely normal. Give yourself a break, take the pressure off. Find some cartoons you don't mind watching - stuff like stick man/highway rat on amazon? Or there's been stuff like the snowman on tv recently you might get on catch up. And put this stuff on for him for a few days while you recuperate. It's winter, it's bleak, you're pregnant, you're tired, you're lacking in support. Can you ask your DP to take him out of the house for a few hours when he's not at work to give you a decent break? Can you schedule some play dates locally just to get out the house? Just get through the days. Have a think about support for when new baby comes too though. Good luck x

Just to add to the above The Snowman and We're going on a bear hunt are currently on 4od. I've got an 18 mo so hes happy just playing with cars etc like your son. Today we also watched a programme on bbc2 called Snow Babies it was just about animals, you dont have to just watch cartoons 😊 I try to avoid the TV too. I have it on for him when I'm getting ready in the morning and as a distraction when I brush his teeth at night but we've had it on a bit more lately as hes been ill.
I wouldn't say you necessarily need professional help but if you want to your midwife might have some advice. I'd recommend trying to get out atleast once a day, even if its just got half an hour and a little walk or drive somewhere and back. I find when I'm having days like that it helps to reset both of us.

Hi I just wanted to say you are not alone. I've felt like this for past few months with my 25 month old. It is so hard being pregnant at the same time as your child turns from a lovely baby into a demanding toddler. My husband also works shifts and we can go weeks without properly seeing him (he's home every night but daughter is in bed so it's just me with her). I can completely relate to how hard it is when the weekends drag. They are just like any other day where I seem to get annoyed because I'm the only one dealing with the toddler temper tantrums and trying to put nappies on a child who simply runs away from me and I'm too huge to even move.

Parenting is really hard and I'm sure you are doing an amazing job. It's even harder when you are pregnant as well. I try to have a couple days of things to do during week like play group or play dates, just so I can have something to look forward to and something that will entertain the toddler.

That age is so difficult, I found it really tough and that was without being pregnant at the same time and with DD at nursery full time! I think they do become easier once their communication improves. If it helps I also saw a heavily pregnant mum of a toddler around the same age fall asleep on a bench at the zoo today.

Very normal on my experience please don’t worry or feel guilty over it. I have two under three and frequently have days like this. I’ve got better at being able to pull myself out of the slump or to ward it off before it happens but it still does happen regularly. I don’t have any family nearby and have a husband whose work is erratic too so I know how endless the days can seem and how weekends are even harder. My main strategy is to go out every morning, come back for lunch and nap/tv and then play in the afternoon. My boys are going through a stage of not playing very well so trying to do more of an activity in the afternoon. I find it helps to have the same routine to our day so when I’m struggling I can just follow the routine. Nothing drags like the hours 3-5 though!

Also as others have said trying to find time to yourself or agree with your husband a regular time you can have to yourself. It’ll only get harder to do that when the baby comes so try and make it work now

I feel your pain OP. My DP actually asked me if I regret having a child today because I'm just finding parenting DD so difficult at the moment. She is 2.5 and is absolutely lovely, but the tantrums, the stubbornness and the fact that, due to circumstances out of our control, we get no time to do the things together that we used to do (go out in the evening for meals/drinks, holidays abroad, weekends away etc). Plus she is starting to refuse to nap, so there's no break from the little tornado that she is.

You're 7 months pregnant so you must be getting very heavy and tired, and looking after a 2 year old is exhausting at the best of times! Just do what you can and get through this. Everything is so much more effort when you're pregnant. You will have energy again to play with him, so don't feel bad. I'd suggest baby groups as much as possible so you can let him run around while you sit down and have a cup of tea

Does he go to nursery? If not you need to put him in and give yourself a break. It would be good to start ready for when the baby comes if you can afford it.

I work part time but on my days with DD (17 months). I absolutely cannot stay in the house. We’ll do softplay (weather being crap) or a baby group then lunch and a Disney movie in the afternoon. Or meet with friends. Do you have some Mum friends locally? It’s what keeps me sane.

I feel your pain OP. I’ve got a 2.5 year old & I’m 6 months pregnant and finding it all pretty tough going at the mo! I genuinely dread Fridays when it’s just me & her all day. And that makes me sad as pre-pregnancy, I loved our Fridays!

I’m normally fairly patient but this pregnancy has left me with zero. I find myself snapping and getting cross so easily! I then get cross & upset with myself as she goes running to Daddy for comfort 😩 I’m just trying to reason with myself that pregnancy is hard & parenting while pregnant is even harder. I’m knackered & uncomfortable & cant be quite as fun mummy as usual.

But do give yourself a break with the TV. Yes CBeebies is annoying but it’s also a real lifesaver! It gives me 30 minutes 2/3 times a day to just sit on the sofa reading a magazine or potter on my phone! Or more often than not, we have a lovely cuddle just crashed out. Much needed! There are also some lovely adaptations of the Julia Donaldson books - Zog, Room on the Broom, both Gruffalos & Stickman. They are all on over Christmas, get them recorded to keep! Or they are on Amazon Prime if you have that. Snail & The Whale is the new one this Christmas. It’s on Christmas Day on BBCOne. Channel 4 are also doing Tiger Who Came To Tea on Christmas Eve.

If you fancy something more educational - Numberblocks on CBeebies is fantastic. My girl is obsessed with it & really good with numbers as a consequence. It’s such a clever show, as an ex-primary school teacher, I wish I’d have had it as a resource to base some lessons from!