Feeling inadequate.....am I just not maternal

[Newmums16]

I’ve been feeling really down lately, like I’m just not up to this parenting lark. I always seem to be at logger heads with my 3 year old and everything is a battle. Brushing her teeth, getting changed, even having breakfast/lunch. I see other children sitting nicely at restaurants or listening to their parents while out and mine just runs riot and refuses to listen, if we go out I feel exhausted by the end of it. My MIL has her 4 days while I work and I’m sure she doesn’t have the same battle, she always tells me DD has been well behaved. Lately I can feel my patience getting shorter and shorter and so many times I’ve had to stop myself from screaming or swearing at her. I know I’m the problem and I’m totally ashamed of my behaviour but I don’t know where I’m going wrong.

Children are always worst behaved for those who they know love them unconditionally. Try reading how to talk so little children listen. If they are unable to sit in a restaurant then avoid going to restaurants until she is older.

Use bribery. You can watch a video while we brush your teeth.

Fake patience until you make it. If they don’t don’t, y, z it ain’t the end of the world. Pretend you are a ceebies presenter and if needed going into another room for 5 mins peace and then try again.

Thank you. It’s just so hard sometimes especially when you feel like your doing everything wrong and other parents appear to be getting it ‘right’.....must stop comparing myself

The small snap shot you see of other people is not everything that is going on. Don’t forget that parenting is not something you do in isolation, it’s a relationship that you have with your child who has their own personality, needs and wishes.

The biggest thing I find makes a different is to try and invest in them so a big cuddle in bed before getting up or if they want to tell you about the Go Jetters but you needed them to get ready then they are often more cooperative if you listen to them first.

Sometimes they are just tired, illogical messes and it’s impossible.