To cut a long story short she was horrid when I first met dh but I encouraged him to have a relationship with her as you only have 1 mum and I couldn’t imagine not having mine in my life. His relationship with her was very strained but when we got married both of our relationships with her improved slightly. I can never forget how rude she was when I first met her so I always had my guard up but was glad she seemed nicer! Whilst pregnant I was uncomfortable with the way her eyes fixated on my bump and she would touch it without asking but didn’t think it worth the argument. Other than that she seemed helpful and pleasant.
Baby is now here and my feelings towards her have deteriorated again. She tried to come over the next day after baby was born but I was in hospital so she couldn’t. I had to stay in to be monitored so labour wasn’t smooth and she sent me very short and what I would consider quite rude texts as I wasnt sending photos or updates every hour. I put it down to my hormones and her being over excited. Now we’re a few months in and I’ve come to feel very much like it is just about my baby but won’t go out of her way or routine to see us. She makes out she can’t move when holding them at all and makes a big thing of saying she can’t, she dictates to other people where to sit, how to hold and when to hold. She talks through my baby eg: grandma is going to ask your mother if she can take you for a hour or so around xmas (this will not be happening) she keeps going on about giving them hot drinks and dismissed that they shouldn’t have them or at least be weaned before trying anything other than milk and water. She is fixated with having a nursery for when baby stays at theirs and is obsessed with my pram! She asks to come over and if I say no she send me a time ignoring I’ve said no and she will only visit if she is going elsewhere nearby even though we’re less than 20 minutes away!
Even the way she holds ds grates on me now. Dh has been 100% on my side and in agreement and tried intervening but she just ignores everything. I now actively avoid her and last time we visited I kept baby with me and didn’t even give her a cuddle saying he was clingy atm.
I know nothing can be done on a forum but I really need a rant and to just get it all out