would you bite back????

[lolliepops]

help...dd is 18months and has started biting! she has been biten from other childern at nursary so she knows it hurts but carries on to do it.i told her off for eating sand at the beach on saturday and she came up to me cuddled my leg, then sunk her teeth in! she has left 3 bllod blisters and pierced the skin! it bloody hurt.everyone keeps saying bite her back its the only way, she will learn, i dont know if i could acsually do this though! out of the people that have done this has it realy worked???

christie I was teaching my dd it is NOT ok to hurt other people. I am not asking you to do the same if you choose not to but please don't tell me what I am teaching my child. I would not tell you "you are teaching your child it is ok to go on biting" By using a method that had no impact at all on my daughter.

All that "calmly remove stuff " didn't work.If it had I would not have bitten her back.I did not just have her to think about . I had to consider the welfare of the children she was biting.

We all do our best in our own circumstances.

i dont know whats right and what isnt there are arguments for both. i suspect most parents will say no its child abuse arrrrrggggggggghhhh run for the social services you scum sucker ( but put it more nicely) ;)

if mine bit me or each other i bit them back. its like the cold water jug thing - you dont take a lump out of them its the shock that stops em. then you watch their innocent little faces wrinkle up as you have destroyed their world as their primary protector.

worked for me!

Message withdrawn

I'm interested in why 'Bite them back' seems to be a fairly common idea for biting - but not 'kick them back' when they kick, or 'poke them in the eye' etc etc. If parents started kicking their small toddlers, we'd all be aghast -wouldn't we?

I won't bite my DS back for the simple reason that he would explode with laughter. Better to ignore her for a couple of minutes (just as if she didn't exist) that seems to work with DS, he even finds "no" terribly funny. And he looks so cute with his cheeky face holding asking for a hug that I find difficult not to laugh as well

Forgot to say, during DS' bitting phase he bite himself, he creid immediatly but... resume bad behaviour soon afterwards (though he has not bit himself again ever since [grin})

Check out what Dr Sears says about it ;-) He is an attachment parenting advocate and would suggest logical consequence. Rather than biting her back (which is a bit like telling them not to smack and then smacking them because they have smacked), he advises that you tell them not to bite and show them that biting hurts by pushing their hand or the fleshy area on their arms into their teeth. So you are not biting them but showing them that teeth are sharp and biting hurts.

HTH

www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Yes I would and have bitten her back (obviously not really hard), and yes she stopped...and frankly I don't feel one iota of shame or discomfort about this, and sorry but I do think some ppl should lighten up a little

Having said that the approach suggested by Westcountrylass hadn't previously occurred to me, but would seem eminently sensible.

Biting your children? Of course not.

westcountrylass this seems a realy good idea to me i will definatley will try this thanxs very much