Me and my DH have been together for 15years. We have two kids 8&6 years old. DH has a high powered and well paid job, which has also meant a lot of time away from his family. When he is here is a lovely dad to the kids and gives them sooo much of his attention. Because he has always worked a lot, I have been and still is the one who does all the “actual” work with the kids. All the school runs, organised dinner, most of homework etc... as well as working part time.
I sometimes feel like my life has changed so much in the last 8 years. I am so grateful for all the time I have had with my children, but I also feel that it has come at a cost of my own personal life. I have given almost all to my kids and their needs have come above all. Now, 8 years later I find myself feeling resentful, not necessarily towards the kids, but towards my husband... He couldn’t be there much when they were little, he would be at work for 12h of the day, and still is now for most days. He always gave me the offer of a nanny if I wanted, but I think the thing is: I needed/need help with the kids, but I want to share the parenting with him, the kids dad... I don’t want them to be raised by nannies.
He is now at a point where he is so content and happy, he keeps telling me... He tries to work less and comes home earlier a few days a week. With earlier, I mean 6.30ish!
I feel like I’m going the other way... I feel sad and lost and resentful and I would love to let go of all of that. We can’t change the past and I would like to just start over fresh.
Things are finally getting a bit easier with everything, but I feel like that’s why all this old crap I’ve been holding inside is starting to come to the surface...
Can anyone relate to that feeing of loosing yourself in parenting and not sure how to find yourself again...?