Please advise what I should do!

[omtotheg]

DS is 18 months old.
For the past 6 months DS has went to a child minder 3 days a week very happily, Mil has him 1 day a week, DH 1 day and 2 days with me.

However, every week when Mil comes DS loses his head screams and cries clings to me and refuses to go near Mil.

Mil was a nursery teacher before she retired she's very good with kids but has said maybe she is too firm with DS.

Every week I end up in tears after and I don't know how to fix this!

The only solution seems to be for me to stay at home and look after Ds instead. However then I'm going to hurt Mil feelings. DH is cross with me now as I said I just can't do this anymore and his attitude is Ds just has to learn you don't always get your own way.

My problem is Ds is generally not at all clingy to me and usually cries after anybody that leaves the house as he wants to go with them. When it comes to Mil he is the opposite!!!

What would you do???

Why can't you put DS in with the childminder for an extra day? Surely this would be more beneficial than you staying at home?

Yes that would be the best option but how on earth do I tell Mil that?

I think then she would be really hurt whereas this way I can say I want more time with Ds which is true too.

Could you say the CM has asked you to take up another session and make up a white lie about wanting MIL to be able to just do the granny stuff for fun and not as a commitment?

I already said this as FIL is terminally ill. Though coping well. So I suggested they have more time to do the things they'd love and I'll take DS to the child minder they said 'no ds is our ray of sunshine'