Myself and my sons father have co-parented without a legal arrangement in place for the past 6years. My son is 9yrs old.
My ex met a new partner around 2yrs ago and the relationship between myself and him has gradually broken down since. He no longer has any respect for anything I say, ask or suggest. I get very long winded essay style messages off him whereas before we used to go for a quick coffee or have a phone call.
My son is very reluctant to go to his dads now and gets upset at the thought of having to go there on his fathers weekends. He says very negative things about both his father and his gf and says she makes him feel uncomfortable as she tries to be his mum.
Recently my son started to refuse to go to his dads. I ended up having to take him to sit down and talk to his dad as he refused to talk to him without me there. It came to light that his dad had thrown his football kit and posters ect in the bin as my son had been to a different teams match, hes been making my son be that team when they play fifa, he tells my son he will cry himself to sleep if he doesnt go to his house, he also asked him if he wanted my partner to be his dad instead of him (this was all in one evening)
His gf has no respect for me, they come to watch his football matches and she blanks me. She speaks negatively about me to my son, she takes pictures of him and posts them on social media, she apparently tells him off alot and butts into his conversations with his dad. Shes 10yrs younger than us and I cant understand her behaviour alot of the time.
My ex currently has thurs nights and every other fri/sat night contact. He also takes my son swimming so he takes him to those on a tuesday night.
My son has just started martial arts on a friday every week. My ex refused to pay for half of the monthly fee so I said that was fine but I would take him to his lessons as it wasnt fair for him to refuse to financially help but still enjoy taking him.
I have been this evening to pick my son up for his class (it's his dads wkend) and they were in the house but refused to answer the door. He then started playing really loud music and looked out the window. I went to my sons class to wait for him there with his kit and he never brought him.
I could give a million ridiculous examples that have gone on over the last 2yrs but they are all very similar, my ex being awkward, dictating and rude to me.
My question is...if I was to legalise contact would my sons activities be taken into account and is it likely he would be awarded more time? I'm worried that I will go to court to try and get some peace of mind with my son's schedule and my ex will ask for more nights and be given them. My son already dreads going, if he had to go more he'd be heartbroken.