screaming all night

[Hopex3]

hi all,

hardly a new query but my newborn has been screaming and crying from about 1 this morning. I am absolutely exhausted and unsure what to do. the only time she stops is when she is laying on me feeding. wont let me put her in her moses basket or she is screaming. are the next to me cribs helpful for this kind of thing or will it just be same issue as she still wont actually be on me. partner cant help as he looses his temper and just leaves me to deal with it. 5 and a half hours does feel a bit excessive to be non stop screaming :(

How was your partner beforehand? Is this his first baby? He may not be coping well himself, PND can affect dad's too so if this behaviour is unusual for him could it be that you are coping better than he is?
If he's ever shown any of these bad/tempered selfish traits before then he's just a complete dick, sorry.

If it's going to help then get the crib. He's getting a lot more sleep than you are and eventually you'll burn out.

Do get the infacol too.

yeah he is quite short tempered anyway, I do feel like atm and it could be just cos I'm so tired that hes kind of doing the stuff like taking pictures, getting people round all the time to show her off, dressing her up etc. but I'm actually doing the hard stuff like staying awake all night - I've been awake since midnight and not lost my temper (maybe my sanity a bit!!) but he lost his temper and he had already been asleep for 3/4 hours. it was him swearing and giving her back to me saying he cant deal with her that had got to me as I just think okay so it will always be like this. he is still asleep now whilst I have tried putting her back in her cot and she cried again. thinking screw it I'm gonna get the crib cos it's making me resentful towards him - hes her parent too and for some reason it has become the norm for me to sit up with her during the night rather than him :/ just trying to focus on getting to my mums later tho that isn't until 5 o'clock tonight, who knows how on earth I'm gonna get to then. hopefully she will go to sleep at some point in her moses basket tho I'm not holding my breath. will talk to health visitor and probably look at getting my cot, if his mum feels offended I will say she should have a chat with her son about why I have felt the need to get a brand new one other than wait 2 weeks for straps that might not arrive - if I carry on like this I'm gonna become ill its already seriously affected my mental health :(

The baby will wear herself out eventually and she'll sleep. Just put her over your shoulder and walk around and rub and pat her back. Even if it doesn't get all the wind out it'll get enough out for her to feel comfortable enough to rest for an hour.

If he can't cope with the baby make sure he's doing all the other stuff. He wants to appear like the doting father so he can work for it.

Are you bottle feeding? If so, he can be washing, sterilising and making the bottles. He can be making your meals, doing the washing and any cleaning that's needed.
Don't try and do everything. Just focus on you and baby.

chiccospares.co.uk/safety-straps-for-next2me-next2me-dream-1002-p.asp

Could you just order the straps yourself direct from the supplier so you know they'll arrive?

It's really hard OP.

Look up fourth trimester. Babies just have tiny systems so even little bubbles will hurt. As they grow, they are less windy.

DP might be a dick, but let's put a charitable spin on it. Pregnancy prepares you for the feeling of loss of autonomy, exhaustion and responsibility a baby brings. It's not quite the same for men.

They suddenly have this huge responsibility, exhaustion and maybe trauma from the birth but also guilt because they know you're going through the same but much worse.

They're afraid of not being good enough at looking after the baby and see the crying as failure. They think maybe women can just look after babies more easily through instinct. The culture of masculinity doesn't prepare them for showing vulnerability and tenderness so they clam up and act like arses.

Giving exact instructions might help, like 'I need to nap from 6-9, settle the baby or take her out for a walk but let me sleep and you need to do dinner'.

A sling is your friend. Babies like to be close, those pics of them going big to sleep peacefully in their cots are mostly lies. Easier said than done but the more you can relax, the more that will signal to the baby that she can chill out too.

If DP didn't read anything about babies, Commando Dad has quite a good blunt approach to it.

TL:DR he might be shit scared and acting like a twat because of it.

My first was nightmarish and screamed for 12 weeks. In the end we both crashed out- in my bed and slept for eight hours. It was then I realised that i should just sleep with them. I finally got some sleep. I'm sorry it's so tough. They need to be close. If you're not breastfeeding they don't recommend bedsharing obviously but I'd do it anyway- for sanity's sake.