4 month old schedule problems

[Frankie1989]

My 4 month old(19 weeks) is a fab sleeper. She sleeps from bedtime to her dreamfeed and then through until 7.15am when I wake her. I'm having trouble with the daytime part.

On a morning after her feed she is grouchy and ready for a nap at 8ish. She then naps for 2 hours. She gets up feeds at 10.30am.
She is then ready for her next nap about 11.30, this normally lasts 45 minutes.

This part is the the problem her next feed is due at 1.30, however by this time she is so tired. Anyway I feed her and she goes to sleep then at 2ish for 2 hours.

When she wakes her next feed is at 4.30. She then doesnt want to sleep again before bed....she can barely stay awake over an hour so I'm stuck on what to do she is so tired by 6.30 i have to feed and put her down, this in turn is meaning she is waking at 9.30ish expecting her dreamfeed( which has turned into an expected feed)

How can I adjust this schedule to work better alongside her feeds. I feel like im fighting off tiredness and hunger at the same time.

Getting down as I dont have anyone to talk to about this that really understands, can anyone help me please with some tips or advice?

We had this issue at about 4 months in that our little one was a nightmare between his last nap and bedtime as he was shattered, and refused another sleep so we just changed bedtime to 6.30pm latest and put up with him waking between 6-6.30am rather than 7. It was much better. He would wake for his morning bottle and go back down for a bit while I got dressed and stuff. That said we’ve never dreamfed so I can’t help with the earlier evening wake up!
Although when I was shaking off the night feed I would leave him in his crib for a while, or pick him up and cuddle him but wait a while before feeding him and gradually push the time back so maybe this will work to transition your dream feed back to the desired time?
It won’t be long before she is staying awake a little longer and then you’ll need to change things around again, it’s a never ending evolution!!
My lad is 8 months and can’t stay awake more than 2 hours (despite ‘experts’ saying it should be 3 hours by now!) so trying to fit in naps, milk, solids as well as still have a life is a real pain!

Thank you for replying, it's just nice to hear your not on your own. I may try an earlier bedtime then...I did think I could do the dreamfeed at 9 and see what happens! It's just a minefield you solve one problem and another one occurs! It's so disheartening when you feel you arent getting anywhere! I just feel confused and there is so much conflicting advice...I was tempted to pay for a consultant to help but cant help feel they are ripping you off! She is so good apart from minor issues so i know i shouldnt get worked up but it's so hard dealing with it on your own every day! I cant wait until she can manage to stay awake a few hours it really will make things easier! I bet squeezing solids into a routine is super hard too!

If she’s napping only 45 minutes after you waking her up I think maybe you should just let her wake up herself? Then she wouldn’t be needing that nap until a bit later and that would push things back a bit.

Wow very jealous as your routine sounds amazing! I’m on my second child now, honestly what you have sounds like as good as it gets to me and I would just be thankful while it lasts. You can’t really control these things to the nth degree. Also it could be a bit of a shock when a sleep regression hits and throws everything off track. Perhaps try to relax the routine a bit and see what happens?

Mine is 8 months old, wakes 2 x at night and light napper in the day (2 x 45 mins if lucky!). He gets grumpy/ tired after 5:30 but I have to keep him awake til 7 because i need to feed/ bathe/ put my 4 year old to bed. Baby has a medical condition which means I need to prep him for sleep and can’t do it while caring for daughter. He does cry a bit but I just keep him awake because I don’t really have any other choice.

Try not to sweat the small stuff would be my advice. You can get an app if you want to monitor/ predict nap times

Most days she does wake herself it's only occasionally I wake her as I read it's best to start the routine the same time every day? I may give what you say a go and see if that makes a difference!

I try to relax but I think its inbuilt into me to run to a schedule! I just stress about her daytime sleep as I know of she doesnt get enough she becomes overtired. I hate seeing her grouchy or overtired! I will try ease up a bit!

@Frankie1989 I couldn’t wait for him to be awake a bit more but now I wish he’d nap more 🤣 I get NOTHING done and he is hard work lol. Good job I love him

All I know when my LG was younger was she would wake every 3 hours during the day and every 4 at night.
Times changed every day but that was about as much of a routine we had.
We have done baby led from day one. Its worked for us. Baby is so chilled. Slept through from 6 weeks (6hours), and 7 weeks started doing 7-12 hours. At 4 months its 11 hours or so and the sleep regression lasted a week.

If it helps.. a huge bit of advice that helped me.. is that they are mini versions of us.
Sometimes they want a lie in, other times they cant sleep.
Sometimes they will be super hungry and other times breakfast is a no go.
Ever since I learnt that, it's been so relaxed. So if she doesn't finish a bottle or wants to sleep a little bit more.. so be it. smile

I never woke her (apart from occasions), I never scheduled feeds. I let her guide it. I know a lot of people couldn't do it but it worked for us.

*3occasions

And 4 months can also equal a sleep regression so please dont worry too much about a routine. The only routine I have ever stuck to was bedtime. I'll let her nap sometimes around 5 for an hour. If she goes to sleep past 6 I wake her. Keep her up. Bath and bottle at 7, back down for 8.