DH turning his back on the baby

[goingtoneedabiggercar]

Hi!
New name but I've been here quite a while.
First time mum to DS who is 2 weeks old today, DH is amazing with him in general, changing loads of nappies, doing plenty of night feeds as I'm recovering from my section. I however have one main issue.
He sits DS down on something and turns his back and on one occasion left the room! He thinks I'm being over the top and criticising him unnecessarily as he can't roll yet but I don't think I am. One day he'll roll for the first time and there's no guarantee that will be when he's safe in his crib or Moses basket. He's done it so far with our bed, the couch and his changing table! DS is a very strong boy and can hold his head up very very well, even our health visitor was surprised so there's no guarantee that he'll follow his milestones at the "right" dates. Please either tell me I'm being ridiculous or back me up.

At 2 weeks he isn't rolling anywhere. I was comfortable at that age to pop mine in a basket if settled and nip to an adjoining room to fold laundry, make a coffee etc. Anything longer than a couple of mins I would take with me such as having a bath or shower.

When do babies roll over? Your baby may be able to kick himself over, from his tummy to his back, as early as age 4 months. It may take him until he's about 5 or 6 months to flip from back to front, though, because he needs stronger neck and arm muscles for that maneuver.

www.babycenter.com/0_baby-milestone-rolling-over_6504.bc

Yours is two WEEKS old! No baby is that advanced!!
It's wise to get into good habiits, but come on, Your DH turning his back for a moment is no big deal at this point.

I first I thought you meant just when baby was in moses basket or something. But when on a dangerous surface its definitely not on!! Baby could even do a big sneeze or a big shiver and roll without intending to. If he needs to walk away from the changing table because he forgot something then he must pick baby back up. Even if they won't roll right now it's good to get into the habit of not leaving them high up and unattended.

My youngest first rolled into her side at 2 days old so I'm definitely one for erring on the side of caution. The health visitor said it wasn't unheard of. I wouldn't be happy personally leaving a baby on any surface where they could risk falling. Like you say there will always be a first time. I wouldn't worry if they were in a Moses basket etc or lying on the floor though.

Please show him this comment. 3 weeks old! You never know what will happen. It's not worth the risk.

I think you’re being a bit ridiculous. They don’t just roll on day. It’s weeks of trying to roll and by then it’s obvious you need to be more careful. I put both of mine to sleep on the bed or the sofa or wherever at that age, usually keeping an eye on them, but not always. Sometimes you need a wee or a snack or just to check your emails. He will need to be more mindful as things change in a few months, but I would really try not to stress too much. The first weeks are hard enough. I once left my first one on the bed to go have a wee, cam back, was so exhausted I didn’t see her or even remember I’d put her there, and nearly sat on her (until dh screamed in panic!). She was fine btw and didn’t even wake up.

They do all roll off the bed eventually. It’s a rite of passage unfortunately. But in these early days I would try not to stress about things and focus on just surviving and supporting each other.

The middle of a king size bed while you turn your back is one thing, an a changing table while you leave the room is quite another.

You aren't being OTT because in a few months your baby will probably roll over.

A big startle reflex could jerk a baby enough to move itself. You should also definitely get into good habits from the start.

To clarify I have absolutely no issue if he's in a Moses basket or crib it's just things with no edge that make me nervous, he got on to his side yesterday while I was changing him.

I was very strict with dh about this with my dd2 (his first). As a result she never rolled off anything.
My dd1 rolled off a few things and I can still remember how awful it was. As a pp said, never too early to get into good habits.

I don't think you're being ridiculous. I got a shock when my 4 week old fell off the sofa at 5 weeks. I was sitting on the floor next to the sofa playing with my toddler but my back was to him so didn't see how he got from the corner of the sofa to the edge but he did (he didn't roll property until a few months later).

I'd just ditch the changing table. Mat on the floor, nice and simple.

As for DH 'turning his back' on baby other times... As long as baby is somewhere safe, I don't see the harm.

The middle of a big bed whilst turning round for a second is one thing, that will take real gymnastics to roll off and there’s no way a 2 week old will manage it. A changing table only requires a small movement to fall off so if he’s leaving the room with baby on the table then that’s very dangerous.

Regardless though, the baby will roll eventually so I don’t think it’s a good habit to get into.

I think the middle of the bed is absolutely fine. But not the sofa or changing table where he's close to the edge

I was so worried dh would not realise the moving capability of a newborn he put ds for his naps on a mat on the floor. Every time. As a toddler ds would grab a pillow and nap on the floor!! Never a mishap had!!

2 week old in the middle of the bed - not an issue. On a changing table or near edge of sofa - definitely not a good idea

How hard is it to just put them on the floor or in cot or whatever if you have to pop out of the room?

Anything could happen

Relieving to hear I'm not necessarily as overbearing as I feared. When he sat him on the bed it was near the edge, I picked him up and when DH came back into the room he was annoyed that I hadn't left him as he would be fine. I'm trying to find the best way to brooch all this as he's not very confident and I don't want to put him off by saying he's doing something "wrong" but I also know he'd be devastated if anything happened to the wee guy.

At 2 weeks old my ds1 did a startle jerk on waking up and propelled himself off his dad's lap, head first into the coffee table. If you aren't supervising you make sure they're somewhere safe.

He's done it so far with our bed, the couch and his changing table!

Once a baby can roll it takes them longer to have the strength and muscles needed to roll on a soft surface like a bed or couch. However, I think it always makes sense to watch a baby on a changing table.

Babies don’t go from not rolling to rolling just like that. There is a build up as they sway from side to side or start putting more weight on one side and clawing the air trying to work out where their balance is and what they are doing. It can take them months!

My baby could roll onto his side from very early on (but then stopped, I think when he uncurled properly he couldn't do it anymore). It's just not worth the risk when it's no extra effort to pop them in a Moses basket or on a mat on the floor, and it's also a good habit to get into for when they start getting wigglier and build up to rolling properly. Changing tables are dangerous as they are so high, better a mat on the bed or floor. The middle of a double bed is ok, a sofa no.

My DD would roll into her side from birth. It was trapped wind I think that made her lift her legs up and she then rolled onto the side.

My DH would do the walking off thing with our first. He ended up falling off the changing table. Was really awful for all concerned. Floor is the best place to change a baby.

My daughter could also roll onto her side from birth, although it took her another couple of months to make it all the way over. She was quite a strong wiry baby and could move herself from very early. I’d have left her in the middle of a big bed for a minute or two but definitely not on a changing table. I actually started changing her on the floor from a really young age because she was such a proficient wriggler. Even though your baby won’t roll all the way over yet, it’s definitely a good idea to get into good habits for when he does start moving.