Step parent adoption LGBT

[eatanazurecrayon]

Hello.
So I have a question about step parent adoption. Although it isn't strictly speaking 'step parent'. My partner and I are not married but will be next year. However, our fertility treatment begins in January and we are going abroad. By UK law if we are not married at conception then our child will not have my partners name on the birth certificate because we are going abroad for treatment (since it's significantly cheaper). So we are looking at my partner adopting our child if needed.

My questions are:

-What is the process for step child adoption when the child was conceived through a sperm donor.

-Do I also have to give up parental rights / adopt my own child or has this changed?

How speedy is the process?

Thanks for any help you can give! We are based in Scotland is this makes any difference.

It is not a matter of marriage at conception. It is at birth. If you are married when the child is born, the person you are married to is the legal father and only a court can change that (and won’t unless someone else petitions). So adoption is not relevant.

Sorry, I should have said legal parent, not necessarily father.

Actually that doesn't apply to same sex couples. Has to be at conception. Rules are a bit different.

Are you sure? I would be surprised if it were different, as long as you are legally married/ in a civil partnership at birth. I thought the whole point was that the rules were the same.

This from familylawpartners.co.uk, under same sex parenting:

Artificial insemination (not at a licensed clinic)
If the birth mother is in civil partnership or married her civil partner or spouse is the other legal parent and will have parental responsibility.

I apologise! You are absolutely correct. I find this quite depressing...!

Why don’t you just get married sooner? A quick registry office do will be much less effort than an adoption.

@BiggestJulie yeah it's a weird one eh? @HermioneWeasley we may have to! We just want to know all our options.

You know longer have to give up your rights and then adopt your own child, thankfully this has changed. It's only the non-resident parent (which doesn't count in the case of sperm donation) who has to give away their rights in step parent adoption.

*no longer

I apologise! You are absolutely correct. I find this quite depressing...!

It's not different for same sex couples it's exactly the same for any married/civil partner couple who are having fertility treatment. The Q is whether you are married (or cvil partners) at the point of the treatment.

This is the provision for opposite sex couples here

and this for same sex here

Exactly the same.

OP I would just to the register office marriage.

Sorry have just seen you are in Scotland, not 100% sure of the process there, my comment applies to England and Wales.

Stonewall’s information service might be able to help: www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/contact-stonewalls-information-service

They say: NON-BIRTH MOTHERS AND CO-PARENTS

Non-birth mothers, who are not considered legal parents but who are married or in a civil partnership with the birth mother, can acquire parental responsibility by signing an agreement with the birth mother.

I really apologise for giving wrong information in the first place, but am quite glad to have learned.

You will not need to adopt your own child. In this country the birth mother is automatically the legal parent. I THINK that if your partner agrees, with your permission (as birth mother) to be on the birth certificate, and is present at the registration, then your partner also automatically will have PR and there also will be no need for adoption.

But Stonewall can confirm.

Oh I'm delighted to hear I would t have to give up my rights then adopt together. We can get a parental order but to be on the birth certificate we would need to be in a civil partnership. If we had treatment here this would not be the case but we can't afford it - it's about 4 times the price and there may be several IOU's before success. The nhs is a 2+ year waiting list.

If the rules are really the same for opposite sex as same sex as @Ali86 says (and which I originally thought), then it is very simple and you do not need civil partnership or anything. I am closely acquainted with a woman who conceived by AI (not in a fertility clinic, so just as if it had been done abroad) with a sperm donor. They are not married or in any legal partnership but wished to co-parent - that was always the arrangement. The birth mother was automatically the legal partner, and the sperm donor accompanied her to register the birth and both parents are on the birth certificate and both parents have full legal Parental Responsibility.

(Since I knew for a fact that that was how it worked, that is why I commented the way I did in the first place... )

So it is possible all you need to do, as I thought originally, is agree between yourselves, and put both names on the birth certificate.

sorry, I didn’t mean the mother was legal partner! I meant birth mother was legal parent. (That’s definitely how it works in the UK)

Just to be clear I meant the rules are the same for opposite/same spouses in AI cases where they are not genetic parents.

I think in your friend's case BiggestJulie it would have worked because he was the genetic father (and also the registrar presumably just accepted what they said) so no need for any special rules. For a same sex couple that's not going to be the case so they'll have to rely on the provisions I posted.

IT is really incredibly complicated!!