crying constantly

[Hopex3]

hi all,

I had my little girl 5 days ago and the last few days I cannot stop crying. I feel so overwhelmed and panicky, not too bad during the day but as night time gets closer its terrible. she doesn't settle in her cot at all so atm me and my partner are having to shift sleep - I go say 9 - 12 at night (although I dont get that solid chunk as I breastfeed so she will wake me up atleast once during this time) and then he will go 12 - 5/6 which will last him all day as he is having to do a lot atm as I had a c section. I then return to bed when he gets up for however long I can during the day. probably a mixture of everything like lack of sleep, anxiety, recovering from c section etc. but I just feel so so emotional and like I cant cope or cant keep her safe. does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? or how you got baby to settle in cot? x

my baby is very little - just under 7 pounds. I'm just confused what I'm supposed to use in her cot now. for reference it is a me to you chicco one but I'm using it as a normal cot atm. I was thinking I'd use a blanket but it's so bulky and doesnt really tuck properly or it does but it makes the mattress rise a bit if you get me. then I saw other stuff saying you shouldnt use anything but surely she would get really cold I just dont understand what to do lol :( I was going to be really brave (for me anyway haha) and try put her down tonight but now I'm confused as to how to even dress the blooming cot

next to me*

Oh OP I’m still quite angry that people didn’t tell me actually how hard it is having a new baby, you think of his romantic image of holding your peacefully sleeping baby and going for long leisurely walks and watching Netflix while baby naps. And everyone told me how wonderful it is.
It’s not like that. It’s unbelievably difficult, we couldn’t put our baby down for many weeks when he came home from hospital because he just screamed and screamed. And while you I love them with everything you’ve got it’s a total minefield because they don’t come with instructions.
Our boy was 4.5lb when he came home, by the time we could actually put him down to sleep he was a little bigger, we just used one of those cellular blankets over the top of him and tucked him in tight. That was only for a couple of weeks but then we used the grobag swaddle (where you can have the arms in or out) which can be used for a smaller baby, our boy hated being swaddled so he always had his arms out. Since then we’ve used sleeping bags, I’m pretty sure he was in one at about 7.5lbs, asda ones are a nice size around the neck and shoulders and are the only ones we’ve used.
Anyway I remember saying to my husband if one more person tells me it gets easier I’m going to punch them in the face, and now I’m that person, because it really does get better.
Defo look up the fourth trimester. Sleeping in shifts is the only way we managed to get through it!

So I was always told not to use blankets until they are much older.

Mine went into a swaddle grow bag like this

gro.co.uk/product/gro-snug/

She could have her arms either tucked in or out and about and I knew she was always covered so didn't have to worry about her being cold.

As I said before she was in a next to me crib but it was too big and open for her and she just cried and cried. If I had my time over again I would have put this

www.argos.co.uk/product/6879321

In the next to me crib to make it cosier and smaller for her. Also you can transfer this easily around the house so if she fell asleep downstairs you could carry this upstairs, put her in the next to me crib in it and go to sleep yourself. Obviously I would pay that amount of money for a Moses basket though.

Like Pp said I wish someone would have told me it's bloody hard, you keep second guessing yourself but your instincts do kick in and you figure out what's best and what works for you and baby.

I also found this very soothing and there's no ads in it so you can keep this on to relax both you and baby and send them off to sleep

thanks - I do have a cellular blanket but it just seems so big for the crib!? finding it hard to tuck in. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow so might just ask her for advice and to get some help for how extreme my anxiety is :( need to try get it sorted before partner goes back to work x

Are you swaddling her?

Bring the side down on the next to me so you can doze in bed and be able to touch her

We bought a BabyCocoon by Red Castle. Saved our sanity after 6 wks of screaming 24/7.

Ps she was 5lbs9oz and at about 6 weeks we started using Grobag.

I had anxiety like you about baby being too hot cold etc aswell and had an emcs. Why don’t you attach your Chicco to your bed ? It’s much easier I fed my baby in my bed and then let him fall asleep an gently slid him across to the side cot. I just wrapped mine in a cellular blanket under his arms it was a small one so maybe yours is too big ..:you can just tuck it around the mattress an lay it over them until they start kicking it off. But wish I had tried swaddling, you can get these blankets on Amazon called swaddle blankets £15 for 3 I think have a look then you move up to the gro bags when baby’s big enough x

OP my daughter was just under 6 pounds when born and I used cellular blankets. (You will need more than one due to them puking and having to wash it.) As a PP said you tuck it under their arms and then under the mattress. I tried swaddling but she just screamed.