Baby comfort suckling

[glowlowlow]

I have a 12 week old who can only get to sleep in the evening by latching on to my breast. This is the case even after she has fed and is definitely for comfort. She won't take a dummy.

She suffers terribly from wind, especially at night, and I worry she's intaking air/unwanted milk when suckling. Sometimes she gets frustrated at the boob too, but cries when I take her off it.

Could it be the case that this habit is causing her pain? (I know feeding to sleep isn't ideal, but it's that or hours of crying whilst we try rocking/walking/putting down) etc.

I don't think so. What you're describing is a very common phase at 12 weeks. If you ride it out, it will pass. Get yourself some good box sets - luckily the TV tends to be good at this time of year, so plenty on catch up - and snuggle down on the sofa with her :) (Obviously don't sleep on the sofa while holding her - but you can watch TV and make your partner bring you snacks while you feed or hold her sleeping.)

She can't take in air while breastfeeding, it's not possible - she needs to create an airless seal in order to get the milk to flow, that's why it's so hard to take them off once they are latched on.

When she is feeding for long periods like this, although it is mainly for comfort, she will also be getting milk as well and it is good for her. The sucking will also be easing her pain which is why she wants to keep doing it. It's called cluster feeding, if you want to google it to learn more about it. It's likely she's doing these marathon feeds partly because it's just developmentally normal and partly because she is increasing your supply in readiness for a growth spurt.

You can try infacol for the wind, just put the drops onto a weaning spoon and spoon it into her mouth.

It's very common at 3 months ish to have a phase of colic as well. Again it will pass without you needing to do anything.

I feed my baby to sleep and let him nap on me during the day.
He’s now 6mo old and it’s getting much easier to put him in the crib at night without hassle - I unlatch him, he even opens his eyes a bit, acknowledges the move and gets back to sleep. This would have been unthinkable at 3mo. Daytime is still a bit tricky.

I hope it gets easier for you soon, for now enjoy the cuddles and how much comfort you give your baby.

Thank you @BertieBotts your response is really reassuring. One things that's developed is that she gets distressed whilst feeding too, so we have viscous cycles of her wanting to latch on, then being uncomfortable, me de latching her, walking around/trying to wind etc all whilst she's crying to be put back on again! (It's why I ask if it's actually hurting her?)

Then at some points she will settle and fall asleep, but it's so light, as soon as I move she wakes up again and it all starts once more...

I'd love to just sit and watch a boxset with her feeding on me! We use infacol too :)

Google some ways to get the wind up if the ones you're using don't seem to be working- different kids need different techniques. Also, are you drinking enough? Could she be trying to up your supply and getting frustrated because the milk isn't flowing fast enough?

Reading your update I think we had a phase like this, he was arching his back in pain, crying... I usually sat him on my knee and rubbed his back, but honestly he just outgrew it at some point

@7Worfs this is exactly what she's doing! How long did it last for?

@RolytheRhino I thought of this and got really worried about milk supply, and even started expressing extra in the morning to give to her at night so I could rule out hunger, but she still does the same routine afterwards (I also tried formula in case my milk quality was low, but again it made no difference)

One thing to add.. I think she's starting to teeth.. very dribbled, biting her own hands etc, could it be linked?

Dribbley*

I’m trying to remember, I think it started around 8 weeks and lasted maybe until 14-16 weeks? It’s trapped wind, so I couldn’t always help him with back rubs and attempts to burp him.
Then at 16 weeks the vaccine shots unsettled him, then the 4-month sleep regression hit!
It’s only now at 6mo that everything is getting better and he’s really grown. I’m feeding the incoming teething though!

Just hang in there, try to keep your baby comfy, and in a few months she’ll be so much more grown up.

Had a similar phase with mine, probably from about 8 weeks to 16 weeks? He outgrew it. Still loved comfort sucking and feeding to sleep (all normal, natural behaviours) but stopped with the hour long shrieking of an evening!

Yes it could be teething. Back arching can be wind. I also found DS2 would strain a lot at this age for poo but it turned out to be infant dyschezia which just means they have worked out they need to strain but not yet that they need to relax to poo - they have to do both at once, which is a bit tricky for them so they do lots of pointless straining. It's not pain they cry with but effort.

You don't need to do anything special to increase your supply. As long as you're not restricting her feeding, she'll get it to where it needs to be. It does take 24-48 hours to adjust though so she might be annoyed in the meantime, no need to give bottles though. You won't be empty, the flow just might be slower than she would like. You just need to drink to thirst, you won't produce less milk if you drink less than a certain amount of water.

DS2 developed an insistence that he be held while standing up at this age - I remember that being really annoying. Was short lived though.

@7Worfs I hope so! She still wants to sleep on me (day and night) and all the other babies I know seem to be so much more relaxed (falling asleep themselves, sleeping lots at night, sticking to routines etc)! It's a little soul destroying as I feel we're always struggling a bit

My babies only 4 weeks so obviously still feeding to sleep. She does the whole latch on and then seem in pain, often in the evening and usually it's a case of trapped wind that takes quite a bit of effort to shift. Apparently babies can confuse wind and hunger. I was worried about supply too but after research apparently it's actually quite rare to not have enough and even if they are getting enough from you they'll often still guzzle formula so it's probably not that.

Pffft, don’t let it bother you, the majority of babies want to be on you/with you all the time.
It feels like prison sometimes, but it’s really strengthened my bond with baby, especially now as he starts to look at me, coo, smile and call for my attention.
It gets easier, they won’t sleep on us when they are 18 years old, as the MN wisdom goes.

@OpheliaBee that makes me feel better, thank you!

@BertieBotts she definitely arches her back a lot, so I'm guessing it is wind. I'm trying different ways to shift it!

@7Worfs very true!

@ruralcat you sound v. knowledgeable for someone with a 4 week old! At 4 weeks i could barely think straight! Congrats on your baby

She's settled now (after 1.5 hours) - let's hope this is the worst of it done for tonight and we don't get round 2 later! Saddest thing is my DH is out tonight and I haven't yet trained the dog to fetch wine 

@glowlowlow thank you, she's my third. At 4 weeks with my first I didn't haven't a clue. For what it's worth I think I'v had quite 'easy' babies but all of them have had these feeding sessions lasting for hours of an evening and impossible to put down. One day it just stops. I'v been stuck to the chair feeding baby on off over about two hours now but luckily DH is home to bring me snacks.

@ruralcat Do you start your eve with a routine with the hope they'll stick to it or not bother yet?

I bath, put soft music on, feed in time for a 7pm bedtime.. I then pop her down and she's awake within 5-25 mins.. then I just take her downstairs and do the process I explained before until she sleeps. Then she ends up going down when we do or wont be put down and sleeps on me for most of the night.

I just hope one days she starts sleeping for longer from 7..

Sounds like our babies are quite similar! Mines 3 weeks older than yours, but is still really windy. She does the same thing, often in the evenings, where she wants to suck but then obviously has pain and comes off the boob to cry. My theory is that she wants to latch on because of the pain, rather than that the sucking is the cause.
Something I've found that really seems to help is to push the farts out before they start to hurt her. So whenever she's happy and lying on the play mat or in my lap I do bicycle legs and folding her legs up to her head etc. She gets a lit of wind out then, whereas trying this when she's already crying never works.
I still feed her to sleep. Sometimes she'll fall asleep easily and I can move her off me, sometimes she wants to sleep on me and will basically comfort feed through the night. I'm going with it as I figure these periods are based on mental/physical leaps or growth spurts.
Hang in there!