Mum of boy who hits wants playdate with my DS - what to do?

[Chocstar]

There's a new boy who's started at my DS's school. The new boy's mum would like to arrange a playdate, as she said that her son likes to play with my son the most. When I asked my DS about this new boy, whom he'd never mentioned playing with before, he said that he wasn't keen on playing with him as he's 'fighty' and hits him! I don't want to be rude and refuse a playdate, but I also don't want my DS being hit. Any idea about how to deal with this situation?

You're allowed to decline playdates - a polite excuse about being very busy or tired in the run up to Christmas would do.

Put her off until after Christmas and see if her son has settled down?

On the other hand, I don’t think he should be compelled to spend time with someone he dislikes.

You turn down the playdate - your DS doesn't want to play with him.
How old are they?

Oh god it’s a bit awkward isn’t it. I think though if your son doesn’t want to do the play date then I would go with that. Would you get away with being super busy for the next while and not be available in the hope she dosent follow up? Or if you did want to do the play date, could you do it at your home so you are supervising and can intervene if necessary? I understand the feeling rude bit I’m the exact same but if it’s not sitting right with you I don’t think it’s too bad to just not do the play date? Another option if you can would be to ask another child or two along to buffer the group some what and maybe the child won’t be as focused on your son? Sorry I haven’t better ideas! I hate these situations!!!!

My go-to phrase for small stroppy children was, 'Actually, they seem to be rubbing each other up the wrong way a bit at the moment. Maybe leave it till they're both less tired.'

If your ds isn't keen then you have to decline. You can't have a playdate if your ds doesn't want to play with the other child for whatever reason.
I know it would be nice and supportive of you and this mum would be happy but you and DS come first.
Be busy.

I was about to say that a little bit of honesty is required here. So I would go with what @Lancelottie said

This is why no play dates here!! Secondary school dc most welcome but overseeing awful primary school dc is off my list!!
I did with adult dc as small ones. Then got wise!
This scenario calls for helicopter parenting ime.
Call him out on every incident of anti social behaviour.. He will either accept your rules of being nice or never want to visit again. Some dc just have no guidelines ime... Ask your dc if he would like him if he didn't hit... He can choose his friends of course but he may want to take a chance!

Thank you for your replies! I'd like to go with honesty...but not sure if I'll be brave enough to...