Has anyone had a baby after a HUGE (16+ years) gap?

[hobbler]

I have a DS who has just turned 15 and I’m In in my early 30s (yes I had him young!)

I’m in a long term relationship and we’ve discussed children as he doesn’t have any. I would like another one (or two ) however the thought terrifies me. I just can’t imagine going back to the start again, I’m so used to having a big teenage DS around and it seems ages since he was a baby or toddler. I’m used to having a certain level of independence as DS has got older himself.

I’ve worked FT since he was 2 and I would definitely go part time if I had another child and that’s something else I can’t imagine.

I’m praying there are mums out there who have a huge gap between kids and can let me know how it went?

Personally no, but my friend was a surprise baby 18 years after the family was ‘complete.’ He grew up almost an only child as the siblings were almost a generation older. His parents were also elderly in comparison to other parents (not an issue for you as you are early 30’s)

As someone who, at 22 witnessed their Father have a baby and go back to square 1...knowing what was coming...I would say you’re mad

But, you can’t ignore your body. Your son may feel as though you are having a new family now he is getting older. My younger sister certainly struggled with that.

Just thoughts. Good luck

Well I'm only 4 weeks in but now have a newborn and teenagers. Eldest is 17, youngest 12.

Am absolutely loving it so far and was really worried about the age gap and comments about how awful 'starting again' would be. Just relishing everything baby again and feel so lucky to have another opportunity to raise a child and experience pregnancy and babies again.

I also know how quickly they grow and in the blink of an eye you have a 17 year old so am determined to enjoy every minute.

My teens are also besotted and it's brought out their lovely caring sides as well. So I say go for it!

There is 17 years between me and my youngest sister. I have a daughter the same age :) it's actually really lovely I spend more time with her than my 'similar age' siblings xx

I have a 9 week old and a 15 & 12 year old. They’re a massive help and we have a lot of fun. It works for us!

No personal experience but actually I think it's more common than you think. Where either the mother has had their first child young and then waited until 30's to have more or where the man has gone on to have a second family. It seems to depend on the personality of the elder child as to how well they bond.

My cousin has a 20 year gap (2 older 1 younger) and the older two are more like an Uncle and Aunt, but the elder son has just become a dad and his DD is more like a sister to her youngest.

I have a 21 year old and a 17 month old and one due next month...
It's very different now vs then... I was young and not particularly ready looking back on things, I have enjoyed things very much more this time round.

My cousin had her 3rd at 44, her other 2 were 20 and 18.
She’s loving it, her eldest were both off at university and she has much more time for this baby as does her husband (and they all have the same dad)

In my experience, there is something really quite beautiful about the sibling bond with bigger age gaps. There are 13 and 14 years between myself and my eldest siblings, and there are 12 years between my eldest and youngest. I remember my big siblings as almost godlike in my eyes. They played with me, had a lot of patience unlike my closer aged siblings, cared for me too, picked me up from school or put me to bed or bathed me sometimes. I see the same with my eldest and youngest, youngest thinks the sun shines out of eldet arse, eldest has infinite patience for them, in a way they definitely don't with their closer aged siblings.

I have a 21,18, 14 year old and ds 15 months.

It’s wonderful tbh. The eldest 3 adore the baby and I’m much more chilled out & patient than I was when I was younger. I know he’s only little for such a short time so I don’t sweat the small stuff. It was a shock that things weren’t done in the same way as twenty years ago (looking at you baby lead weaning & making bottles up one at a time) but I figured it out pretty fast.

The other night I watched my 14 year old singing nursery rhymes to ds 15 months and they were both laughing at each other and my heart nearly burst.

15.5 year difference between muesli. They couldntlie each other more. The oldest is a biy and really lives being a big brother. I can see there are a lit of advantages to a child having you to themself for as long as they are a child and then letting you mummy another baby once they are independent. Its just a different dynamic but a good one😁

I have a big gap, 13 years, between my two, they adore each other. I loved having a baby again, it's not the traditional norm but for me it is lovely!

23year age gap between my Dd's.
I'd forgotten how to make a bottle or change a nappy. When we went shopping for a pram it nearly ended in divorce,3 hours later we left the shop total bewildered by the choice of prams and the shop assistant firing questions at us, I just wanted a bloody pram.
Apart from that dd is 4 now and one of the best things that's happened to us.