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Original poster

"lose the dummy by 6 months, but definitely at 12 months"

46 replies

emkana · 20/08/2007 23:18

... it said in the leaflet I looked at in the doctor's surgery today.

So there's another guilt moment for me. Ds is 14 months and LOVES his dummy and there's no way he's giving it up yet...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

UCM · 22/08/2007 21:56

Des, thats gross, how on earth does your Manicure stay on

Ds has a dummy and is nearly 4. I wanted to get it from him and bought him a toy which he gave back 3 days later, telling me 'Mummy I would rather have the dummy'. He only has it at night. But on his 4th birthday very soon, he has asked for 'hotwheels', whatever they are. He will get them but only in return for the dummy

UCM · 22/08/2007 21:57

and I agree with the having something in the mouth which doesn't include sugar!

Desiderata · 22/08/2007 22:01

UCM .. do I look like the kind of girl that would have a manicure?

I mean, c'mon. Look at me ...

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UCM · 22/08/2007 22:10

But Des, you simply cannot suck your thumb, it's horrid and your thumbnail will disappear.

Nah, you are gorgeous anyway (and don't you know it lovely )

Desiderata · 22/08/2007 22:16

Nope! It's still there ..

I just started an unanswered thread, UCM. I guess with our track record, we'd better leave it at that

bran · 22/08/2007 22:17

He's adorable [modest emoticon] thanks for asking Desi.

stickyj · 22/08/2007 22:20

Totally personal opinion so don't shoot me down. I hate dummies on anything that walks/talks. I have seen child at nursery FGS get picked up and his mum give him the dummy in the playground. That's cruel and unecessary (unless child is SN and needs it). Total humiliation for child and loads of sniggers from parents. Do without it, you're the parent, put up with the crying and they'll give up eventually. It's not a necessary confort thing for older children, parents are.

Desiderata · 22/08/2007 22:32

Where is he from, Bran?

bran · 23/08/2007 09:08

He's a genuine cockney Desi, born within the sound of Bow Bells.

Aquasea · 23/08/2007 09:29

This thread has made me feel so much better. It's been totally enlightening! My DS is only 12 weeks old and he has his dummy to go to sleep but I have been feeling really guilty and worried about it because I have read so many times about how bad it is to make your child dependent on a dummy to go to sleep etc. Suddenly this thread has made me see sense. He doesn't suck on it all the time, it comforts him so he can peacefully go to sleep and it drops out of his mouth (or I can pull it out) after about 10 minutes anyway. I am not going to stress about it anymore...ok, well, I am going to try not to stress about it anymore!

pooka · 23/08/2007 10:07

"put up with the crying and they'll give up eventually".

I don't really know where to start. My ds and dd were comforted by dummies (ds still is). Obviously they didn't have them all the time. I really really don't see what the problem is, in providing a means of comfort that they love in conjunction with, of course, lots of cuddles and kisses and hugs and affection.

Agree that it is your personal opinion, and that mine is completely different to yours. But feel rather cross that you have branded a mother cruel for giving her child a dummy when coming out of nursery.

BandofMothers · 23/08/2007 10:14

DD1 had a dummy (noonoo) until just before she was 3. Only in bed, or carseat adn pushchair at nap times.
When she bit thru it I thought , right I'll just get rid of it. Not realising we had just moved house and that would be a cruel time to get rid of her comfort. Obv I realised we had moved house btw, but hadn't thought of how she would NEED her comfort at that time.
Felt so cruel, she screamed for 2 hrs the first night. Took her 2 weeks to settle and sleep ok without it.

I still cringe when I think how horrible that was of me
[norty mummy]

I never bothered giving DD2 one, but am convinced she would have slept better if I had. DD1 was always a dream sleeper. DD2 is just now, at 1yo, settling without bfing right before hand, and sleeping thru[tired]

startouchedtrinity · 23/08/2007 10:15

stickyj, I am staggered by your post. If parents really snigger at a child with a dummy then they are the ones being cruel. I totally agree that dummies are not liked by everyone but for some children they are a major source of comfort and reassurance. Presumably you also believe that comfort blankets, teddies and all the rest should go too - after all they aren't parents either. Or is it just dummy snobbery?

So tell me, what sources of comfort do you have? We all have them - mine is chocolate and my favourite face cream. For others it's a glass of wine or their favourite CD, or even a decent balance in the bank. Would you like whatever you need taken away from you?

BandofMothers · 23/08/2007 10:16

juuule · 23/08/2007 10:17

I can't understand all the fuss about dummies. Some of my children had them, some didn't. And some of those that did had them until around 5y of age. Hasn't caused them any problems as far as I can see. If it's a comfort to them, then why not?

BandofMothers · 23/08/2007 10:21

dD2 is so not bovvered about a dummy, don't think she'd have taken one anyway.
I cracked after 3 weeks of no sleep with DD1 who NEEDED something to suck to go to sleep and gave her one after I dozed off with my finger in her mouth and gagged her
She slept like a dream from then on, until I took the blardy thing away. Taking it also did away with her day time nap

Some kids do need them. Tho I banished it to the bedroom at 6 mths, as I said before apart from naps in pushchair/car.

and btw I HATE the bloody things. and also hate seeing big kids with them in. I saw a kid that had to be 7 with it at the playground, and I do think that at that age they should be only in the bedroom. Shout at me if you will

pooka · 23/08/2007 11:58

BOM - my dd also stopped napping pretty much the day her dummy went. She was nearly 4. Still - earlier nights I suppose.

sheepgomeep · 23/08/2007 17:38

stickyj I wonder if your the same poster who called me a child abuser this time last year all because my children have/ have had dummies....

think you are out of order to be honest. you say it is your personal opinion and yet you are being very judgemental towards others.

I remember ds being in and out of hospital LOADS as a baby and being quite ill, Should I have let him cry it out and made his pain and misery worse by taking his much needed comforter away

And what if your dc was a thumbsucker?

pooka · 23/08/2007 18:30

Cut off his thumbs I suppose, like strewelpeter (cautionary tales - one was called "little suck-a-thumb").
I don't actually like the look of dummies and had sworn woudn't use one before dd was born. She felt different, it was an immense source of comfort, and I'm all for children feeling secure and comfortable.

Ceebee74 · 23/08/2007 19:26

2 acquaintances of mine have made it clear to me that they hate dummies and would not even consider using them for their children....both of them have had children who did not sleep at all well (one of them didn't have her first night of sleeping through until her oldest was 5 ) - I realise this is just a coincidence but even so, would it not have been worth just trying a dummy to see if it made a difference?? But each to their own I guess - much rather a dummy than thumbs (fortunately DH agrees with me as he had to have loads of dental work done when he was younger due to thumb-sucking).

NannyL · 23/08/2007 19:42

I hate dummies

all of my charges (9 so far and counting) have not had dummies and they have all been brilliant sleepers as well.

My current 2 charges have no comfort objects,
the other 7 have all had a comfort type blankety things.

Have vowed not to give my own children dummies (cause i hate them) or comfort blankety type things either cause its just too much hassel when you cant find them!

Of my 9 charges only 1 sucks his thumb (hes now 14 and still sucks his thumb, even though he boards at a public schhol!)

I still suck my thumb if i am tired as well

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