Toddler not interested in me

[Biancadelrioisback]

My 2 year old (very nearly 3) wants nothing to do with me.
He shouts for his daddy, won't let me touch the trolly when out shopping, doesn't want me to do bedtime, doesn't want to cuddle or kiss. Just daddy.
We both work full time so only have a few precious hours together and I'm just not good enough for him. DH plays sport on a Saturday and works late a few days a week so when it's just DS and me, he just asks for daddy and doesn't want me.

What do I do? It's really hurting me and tbh, im really upset. He lashed out at me tonight and tried to hit me because I dared to try and push the trolly.

What should I do?

How long has it been like this for?

About 6 weeks now

@Biancadelrioisback I really feel for you, it's so hard when they're like this. My Ds (4) went through this recently as I'd been away for a week through work. I'm not sure if I've any good advice. I tried really hard not to show how hurt I was and not feel resentful/upset. I love-bombed him and played with him for ages but he still lashed out and wanted daddy. In the end I kind of stepped back, stopped trying so hard and then when we were having a quiet moment I told him that I had really missed him. He's definitely not wanting his daddy as much anymore and I'm back to getting cuddles.

Patience I suppose.

I was told they go through stages of this. Don’t fret. His mum will be who he’s shouting for in due course while his dads gutted!

Two year olds are little twats monkeys, he’ll change. Just don’t give him attention for it, the more fuss you make, the more likely he is to keep it up.

You really need to calm down about this because it's a completely normal stage of development. He's just starting to test the waters of being independent and a child will favour one parent over the other. It is absolutely nothing to take personally because it isn't. It actually shows that you are a totally safe person in his life. This stage will not last for long, I promise.

Patience seems impossible. As does not reacting.
Not to laden myself with excuses but I've just gone back on the pill so my hormones are all over the place which does not help...probably explains why I sat and cried when we got home tonight. 2yo didn't even notice I wasn't there and didn't join in for bedtime.
Ive tried everything I can think of including special treats for just me and him, little softplay trips, making a huge den for him in the living room (only daddy was allowed to play). Both DH and I have told him that he's upset mummy, DH is being great and makes DS apologise when he lashes out and will stop playing with him if he starts being mean to me etc.
I even tried ignoring him but it just seemed to drive him to DH more.

I worry because if you may have seen another thread of mine, my brother is virtually a sociopath and hates my mum for absolutely no reason. He also hates me and has rejected me my whole life. I'm terrified of having that kind of relationship with DS (yes I know it's way too soon to know what our relationship will be like).

I'm blowing this out of proportion and taking this way too personally. But I don't know how to stop

I am also incredibly aware that I do not want to be emotionally manipulative.
I'm terrified about just fucking everything up.

Sorry I sound like a total fucking Muppet.

I have this and I a, actually quite pleased to get a break because I know he loves me but for the first 1 year and a half it was me he wanted all the time and now I am enjoying seeing how much he loves his dad and Ali don’t have to do bedtime!
It is a phase

They go through stages of this. Sometimes it's a complete surprise. I went on holiday once with my mum and dh in the hope my mum would care for 2yo. Fat chance. As soon as we stepped on the plane daddddddyyyyyyyy and would not leave him alone. Tbh it was a bit amusing and I get why you're hurt but my poor dh couldn't go anywhere without Cling-on and it stayed that way until we landed back in U.K. of course!

Next round it would be me or grandma etc.
It does end at some point.

Lashing out at you is not OK and he needs to be told off for that or he will keep doing it.
Your dh also needs to back you up. He's nearly 3 and capable of having some empathy for people. If dh is allowing and accepting his behaviour, you need to have a word with him.
If he does it to you in the house say fine, walk away and ignore him. He thinks he has all the power at the moment.
Do not let a child hit you. I see far too many parents who allow this and all it does is let them think its OK, so they belt lumps out of other children.

For years I was "the favourite" with my DS. At bedtime it was always "Mama to bed" or he would cry if DP picked him up from nursery and not me. DP never got a look in. This used to hurt him but I reassured him that it was only a matter of time when things would change. And sure enough, they did. Now, DS (5) will tell me very seriously that he loves DP more than me and I am no longer allowed to kiss him but it was ok because DD(2) loved me more than she loved Dada!
N.B.
I may or may not have threatened to not give birthday presents if I was refused kisses