So just sat here crying my eyes feeding my 4 month old and my two year old is just staring at me. I have failed them both I've let the stress and pressure get to me and I've just give in I don't like to cry in front of them I need to be strong fun everything positive they shouldn't have to witness their mummy having a breakdown this should be kept for the shower or something.
I'm meant to be taking them to my mothers house they've kindly offered to give me a few hours break as she can see I'm worn out and run down yet at 10.10 she texts to say we've just got up bring them down now....both still in pjs and toddler refusing to get dressed and I don't have the energy to fight him, they got to go out again at 3, but the time I've finished feeding etc I won't get them down there until 12 at the earliest then I got to get back down there for 2 so we can have a 'catch up' before ether have to leave and I'm meant to be having some help today? Tell me if I'm ungrateful but out of a whole day I'm getting about 2 hours to get the whole house tidy cleaned washing done and née stress? That's not really what i call giving me a day off don't get me wrong I'm all for it and totally great-full but when someone says to you we will have them for basically the day or half a day you just rest making out they'll take every pressure off you and you stupidly believe then it's a bit of a kick in the teeth when you realize you no longer have that time.
Don't mean to be un great full or anything just at my whits end with trying to do everything, I think this is the third time now I've lost my voice in the past 3 weeks due to be running down, ppl say they'll help just shout I do and still don't get much help. I give up I've even given up telling ppl I feel shite cuz what's the point no one really gives a shit your just expected to crack on.