I met my daughters father when I was 19. It was all great in the beginning & then he became controlling & manipulative. He tried telling me what I could wear & who I could talk to.
So I finished things.
A week later I saw him & he started following me & grabbed me in the streets. I told him to leave me alone & when I tried to get away he spat in my face. He then sent me messages telling me he'd kill me.
I was genuinely terrified of him.
I left the country & we didn't see eachother for about 8 months.
I was then in a pretty bad place & when he messaged me wishing me happy birthday for some stupid reason I replied.
Anyway, he then managed to convince me that he'd changed & we began a friendship. After a few months we went back into a relationship. We were together for nearly a year & he was really great.
I then found out I was pregnant & he changed again.
He started telling me who i could talk to/ what I could wear.
He became super religious & told me that if i didn't convert & make myself & our baby wear a hijab then he didn't want to be with me.
He didn't want the baby & said that he wishes that she'll be born dead.
Luckily at 8 months pregnant I left him & I've raised my daughter by myself.
She's 11 months now & I really really love being a mum. She's incredible & I just want her to have a happy fulfilled life.
It's been difficult with her dad since she was born.
Luckily he is in Morocco & isn't able to leave the country because of visas. I will never take her there because it means that she could never be able to leave (you have to get the fathers permission to take her out of the country).
When she was born he begged & begged for me to take her to see him but for obvious reasons I didn't & never will- I can't trust him.
I did offer to take her to meet him in another country such as Turkey but he said he didn't want to travel & he wanted me to take her to Morocco.
He works but hasn't sent me a penny for her. Which is fine. I told him that instead of sending me the money to put it into an account for her & give it to her when she's older. He agreed but I later found out that he never did it.
It's been really difficult trying to decide what the right thing to do for my daughter is. I would happily never see him again.
We're currently not talking- I blocked him & try & stay off social media anyway. He has my email address but I never hear from him.
The problem that I have is he has 2 personalities. One of them is kind, open minded, generous, protective, wise & would be an amazing father. The other one is controlling, manipulative with backwards views.
Recently someone told me that she'll hate me for keeping him away & that I'm being selfish.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation or if your mum kept your dad away from you & how you feel about it now? Do you think I'm being selfish?