What to do with 4 year old boy who is bored of preschool and all playgroups/classes?!

[millionaireshortie]

I'm at my wits end with my 4 year old son. He has preschool 3 days per week but is completely bored of it, so he says. Never wants to go and moans about it in between. He is also bored of and refuses to go to any of the playgroups we've gone to for the past 3 years.

Tried swimming but it was too stressful with him crying all the time. He already does football with his dad on a Sat morning. He refuses to walk anywhere so I've stopped bothering with any of the beautiful national trust places we are members for.

My 2 days off with him have become miserable and I can see a long 9 months ahead of us.

Have any of you experienced this? I'm at a loss what to do. His general temperament is making life miserable. Any ideas for my days off with him?

Children do get bored of nursery unfortunately, one child was put in 7-6 5 days a week from three months old. No surprise he got bored of the room after a while. I know your little one is in less but if it's the same things for those three days, then the same playgroups for the other two it will be very boring for him.
What do you do at home with him? Do you do any messy play/dressing up/adaptable toys? By adaptable I mean little people that can go in cars or be used for painting or build a house for. Things like train tracks can only be used for playing with trains, and that can get tedious after a while. Puppets are a good toy to play with as you can get storybook ones so you can read a story using them or make a show or he can just play independently with them.
Mark making is a good activity, as it's either fun to draw or you can add in trying to teach him to make the different letters of his name, then "mum" then "dad" and any pets

My DS got bored of nursery and playgroups at 4 - he'd go along with it all but sometimes looked a bit of a fish out of water! He much preferred school when he got to get his teeth into activities.

I'd start doing some school readiness stuff with him - phonics, little maths games, science experiments - not necessarily teaching but play-based activities that make him think a bit. You can make little books, do jigsaws, learn about space or animals or history...there will be something that engages him and it's a bit more fun for you (well I certainly prefer that stuff to endless pretending games!). Lego or Knex might be good too.

Does he like being outside? I know a few people who use forest school type settings for their dc. I think there are some which are like a drop and go preschool, but others which you would stay with him at the sessions. Might be worth looking into.
Otherwise would he enjoy baking with you? Or messy play? Or more construction based toys (Lego / duplo, kid k’nex, that sort of thing)? Or he’s maybe at an age where he’d properly sit and watch a movie, so maybe cuddling up on the sofa watching something you enjoyed as a child. If he’s in daycare 3 days, he maybe just needs that closeness and reassurance on your days off. Or as above, working on school readiness. Pinterest has great ideas for fine and gross motor control. Orchard toys do lovely first board games.

What sort of toys does he have and actually play with? A lot at that age have a lot of character based (ie Paw Patrol etc) stuff but they don't really know what to do with it. Has he got Lego, train sets, knex type of things? Or does he like crafty stuff like doing junk modeling? Sometimes having a 'project' to do that may take a few days may keep him interested. Lets face it a Lego town or a trains layout is never actually finished and is always evolving.

When he goes to football is everything fine? - I'm just wondering if there's an issue that's making him refuse to walk and cry at swimming.

Is he saying he's bored because he's not intellectually challenged - or because he's having trouble no-one's picked up on - or because there are social issues he can't articulate?

Have you had his sight checked? What's he like with the other kids at football? Can he read?

Easy baking: the library should have some recipe books aimed at children
Dance round the lounge to silly songs or his favourite pop stars
Any chance of you starting to show him basics of keyboard, guitar/uke or recorder?

Something like tangrams - this says from age 4:

www.happypuzzle.co.uk/products/kanoodle-jr.aspx

from the same catalogue

www.happypuzzle.co.uk/products/squigz-24-piece.aspx

(If he's actually bored by the preschool syllabus, teach him chess )

What do nursery say about him?
Tbh your swimming and walking issues make it sound more like he's not coping at nursery and groups rather than he's bored.

Same with my 4 y/o DS. If you are in London come and hang out with us!

Had this with my older children too, mine were all ready for school by now and bored of preschool and playgroup. Things we did/
do:

Cinema, baking (lasts about 15 minutes though) a long day out somewhere with a picnic, we did drama class but any class with older kids and more structure suited mine as it was more interesting than free play. DS won't draw, or enjoy the park, he likes making complicated marble runs...?

Thank you for all the responses. In answer to the questions...

I haven't had his sight checked, I haven't noticed an issue. He does seem to get tired easily with regards walking so perhaps I could get him checked at the doctors.

I think he's fairly bright. For example, was talking in full sentences very early, counts accurately, excellent vocabulary, knows phonic sounds and has been building complex Lego creations for a long time now.

He isn't reading yet but I think he absolutely could if I encouraged him to blend some small words. I think he'd cope perfectly being in reception year already and would be happier for it. Preschool caters for age 2+. He's one of the older ones with lots of younger ones. They don't seem to anything new now that he's in his last year before school. I thought they might have pushed on with phonics etc for those who are ready but they really haven't offered him anything else new. Is this normal?

The toys he has - lots of little Lego, duplo, magnets, vehicles, paw patrol toys (he likes to create his own adventures).

I think I could do baking more often and some kind of ongoing project as suggested would be good. I probably need to treat his days more as 'homeschooling' days as his brain really seems to need much more. 'Mooching' round the library and supermarket' just isn't cutting it!

Please keep the suggestions coming! Do you think I should forget the outside of the home activities for this age now? And work on projects at home?

@FraglesRock I'm not sure what you mean? I see a lot of the kids age 3-4 crying at swimming lessons so I don't think that's unusual. Whether the water is a bit too cold or they don't like the water on there face, I'm not sure. With regards the walking - I do just think it's laziness. I don't know what else it could be? He has properly fitting shoes at all times. He's wrapped up warm. I could check with doctor whether he has low iron or something like that.

@DatsunCogs ah I wish I was but no we are all the way up North! DS is short of friends on our day off as most mums here seem to be back at work most days, which is a real shame. Sure he's bored of me more than anything!! Glad to hear it's not unusual.

If he doesn’t want to walk could you try a balance bike or scooter?

I echo merryhouse can you pin down if he is bored because the activitires are too young, or bored due to lack of social skills etc .

If he is school ready and out-grown playgroup/nursery, then think about the things that a 5 and 6 year old would do. Or join in groups for older kids if you can.
Get outdoors and build his stamina, can he ride a bike? Can he rollaer skate?

Do you have a trampolining park? That is great for all ages and good for energy release.

Look at what you are reading to him, are you reading chapter books yet? try moving on a bit.

Get the national Trust 50 thinkgs to do before you are 11, and see if together you can tick some off.

Get a home science activities book and make and do things from it.

@steppemum those are some really good ideas! He has excellent social skills - loads of friends and makes friends very easily. I don't think that is the issue at preschool.

Have you spoken to preschool? It is still early in the year and there is no harm in mentioning that he is a bit under-stimulated. On the other hand, they may have been keeping things low-key while they settled in the younger children and the pace might pick up.

The other option might be to look at alternative provision, preferably teacher-led eg. do you have any nursery classes attached to schools? Or children's centres?

What about a school based nursery setting, they only take children for the year (or 18 months depending on their birthday) before they start reception and are geared towards preparing them for school - lots of play but some numbers and phonics too.

you said you had to abandon the NT places, but have you checked if any of them do kids trails?

I know a couple of places where there is an orienteering trail (1.5 miles) and a tree trail (about half the length if the orienteering) it also ahs a tree perfect for climbing and a few other things. It stops it from being 'just a walk'

I have a 3.5 year old at home with me up at the week, she's quite bright and she enjoys

Forest school (our one does a preschool session / stay and play where I stay with her)
Coming with me to voluntary work I do where she can be a "helper"
Gymnastics
Visiting friends
Dance class
Swimming (not lessons)

We also like being outside so do lots of walks, we sometimes hide rocks or books for others to find or collect things on a little checklist. At home we do Cosmic Kids Yoga and dough disco. She likes Orchard Toys games and a Galt game called Soundtracks. She likes story dice and story cards too, although she isn't ready for flashcards or phonics.

There's also a Science-based company that do experiments etc with kids, not sure if there's one local to you - I think it's called Little Professors?

We've found the preschool/ nursery attached to the school good for all of ours - they seem to have high expectations of the kids, and only have children who are aged 3-4 and in the same academic year as each other, so can do more challenging things.

@MaybeDoctor his preschool is the one attached to the school and it is a very good primary school, although the preschool is ran quite independently. I do wonder if it might pick up from January once kids are settled and all the Xmas activities are out the way.

I will leave it for now but perhaps speak to them in January.

dont stop teh physical stuff......trampolining? gymnastics? yoga sounds good...
there is atcually nothing wrog with dc being bored... they dont need non-stop stimulation and finding their own way in stuff is a good thing.....
how much time does he get actually doing stuff himself, how is his mark making... what would he do with a pile of leaves/pens/roll blank wallpaper/paint
I did a bit of phonics at this time with dc ....I could read at that age so my mum tells me ! my dc couldnt but we certainly had started 'sounds' on road /shop signs as we walked around....
'bored' was a not allowed word......I didnt say it and dc werent allowed to say it.....it had to be turned into - I would rather do x/y/z than what i am doing now......so became a converstaion about what it was that they liked doing.... or something we could try

Can you just take him swimming (not lessons)? DS (also 4) isn't that keen on swimming lessons but loves it if we just go to the pool 'for fun'.

DS is also a reluctant walker, more so for DH (because he'll carry him if DS complains enough) than me (because he's too heavy for me to carry now). Scooter sometimes helps.

I found that what my daughter Wya got bored of nursery it was effective to do something mentally stimulating. Have you tried board games or problem solving? Difficult puzzles can keep your kid occupied for hours. I know that some kids have low attention spans when they are young, but Wya is only five and seems to cope fine with long activities. I would say to find something at the right level for your kid.

Try geocaching or map reading at the NT type places or woodlands. My ds walks miles if he’s in charge of the map but moans after ten mins if he’s not.

Also can you try some new activities for age 4+ at weekends and see if he responds better in being in with 5,6 year olds.