Tell me about raising daughters/sisters

[MatildaCat]

I've got DD2 due very soon and DD1 will be about 18mths older. I've got one brother but a few friends with sisters and they are mostly really close/best friends. I'm not super close to my brother (love each other, do anything for each other but not friends iyswim) so I'd love some tips on raising siblings who enjoy each others company, don't resent each other, can play, support each other through teenage years and so on.

Obviously there's no guarantees but I feel clueless and it's on my mind more and more as DD2 due date gets closer!

I'm not sure you can force these things, OP. They might be totally different characters. I would say treat your DDs fairly, don't make comparisons between them (or let others) and encourage them to admire and value each other's qualities as they grow up. Oh, and try not to make DD1 the minder of DD2, very common with DDs!

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Parenting topic at the OP's request.

I can just go on my own experience and how my siblings and I were brought up and what seems to work with my dc. Of course, it’s no guarantee that they’ll be close but they can respect each other.

Respect them as individuals as they could be very different to each other.
Don’t get involved in their arguments as that will help them to resolve things themselves. Obviously, if it’s getting out of control, then do.
If they’re getting on each other’s nerves then let them have their own space for a bit.
Don’t take sides.
Support each other and cheer each other on. We’ll all celebrate each other’s achievements together. Dd was star of the week so we all cheered her for that, ds did well in a test and we all congratulated him.
Get the siblings involved in buying birthday presents for each other.
Don’t tolerate a rude and aggressive attitude. We were pulled up with ‘that’s no way to talk to your brother/sister’ even if we told each other to shut up.
Make them do chores together. Good bonding experience

The best way is to treat them fairly and not fail the eldest daughter by making her take care of the younger one or compare them. 18 months is a tiny age gap really and you will effectively have two babies at the same time - as long as you understand that and don’t expect your eldest to behave more maturely just because you chose to have another baby it should be ok.

Another thing is to treat disagreements and arguments fairly. It’s better to let them sort themselves out if they argue or fight (provided they are both safe) and not get involved in every single disagreement because otherwise they will grow up to resent each other.

My sister was 24 months older. We played together as kids. We speak as adults too. We are very different. She's more outdoorsy and works on a farm. She doesn't wear makeup and doesnt have any female friends. I worked in retail and wear makeup everyday. We get along ok but we parent differently etc too. I remember as kids i was Barbie mad and she would prefer art stuff or being in the garden too.

My sister was 14 months older not 24 x

Thanks for your replies. Interesting suggestion about not getting involved too quickly in little spats - wouldn't have thought of that but makes sense. And yes, must try not to rope DD1 in to looking after DD2, particularly as they get older. Sounds like giving them space to be their own people and generally having a family ethos of supporting and encouraging each other. Fingers crossed. I'll report back in 20 years!

I'm sure you won't but please don't dress them the same, older sisters HATE this!