Rant!! DP and his sleep with newborn!

[Jenloube]

Hello, new poster here. On Thursday I gave birth to my second beautiful baby boy, via C-section (seriously he's amazing!). I spent two nights in hospital, coming home yesterday afternoon. During this time MIL had my two year old, so DP could be at the hospital during the day, and allowed him to be home alone, and sleep before newborn comes along smile. I'm breastfeeding, and baby is doing amazing - only difficulty is he will NOT be put down at night, he wants snuggles all night - in the last 3 nights, I've had a little over 2hrs kip. Last night myself and DP (who's great during the day!) Went bed at 9:30 - baby let me sleep for 45 mins, then has been unhappy unless held / fed from then until now - my 2yr old slept right through. My partner has snored his head off next to me all night, seriously he can get to sleep quicker than anyone I've ever known! I am still very, very sore and I haemorraged so tired. I woke him on two occasions, once to get me a drink so I could take pain relief, and again to help with a poonami. Then he was right back to sleep. 6am my toddler wakes, I'm feeding newborn. He is snoring 😴 his head off (DP) I tap him on back as say DS1 is awake - he looks at me and says 'i'm to tired', I answer back I'm not sure why you've had plenty of sleep he looks shocked and says 'its exhausting with a newborn!' - I nearly flipped, but remained calm. He knew I'd not slept all night! Ahhhhh anyone elses partners useless without sleep, and during the night! He's literally had 3 full night's kip on the bounce, and has the audacity to moan! (Rant over!). He is great during the day BTW...

Congratulations on your new baby!!

I was chatting to my dh about this yesterday. I think when there’s a new baby part of you does want to stab the other person in the eye if they dare sleep I tend to go with letting him sleep at night more so he can do day stuff whilst I sleep. I also found although dh was great, he took a long time to fully comprehend the enormity of a c section.

I think most likely you just need to vent though so this is a good place to do it.

Please show him this message so it comes from someone else and not a complaining wife:

Your partner has had a major operation. She has lost a lot of blood. She needs to sleep to heal. You need to facilitate this. At night you need to be in charge of changing baby after each feed so your partner can go straight back to sleep after it. During the day you need to allow your partner to nap as much as possible. These days are hard. But they will pass. And do not tell her you are tired. She is more tired.

Men huh. If I complained I was tired in the morning DH would say why the baby didn't wake up once. I think he meant HE didn't wake up once all night. But as it goes he WAS still tired anyway. It does cause resentment, due to no understanding. He still struggles with this and then says I'm unsympathetic too. I try not to be a martyr, but it's super annoying. I was telling a friend he went home the night I gave birth as he was soo tired. I was induced went in for 9.30am and had baby by 8.30pm, so he wasn't even up all night. I just see it as a bit pathetic unattractive but it doesn't stop the he's asleep rage and your not.

In fact my DH has gone back to sleep on DS' bed now after DS woke up at 6am. He does have a manual job but honestly it's annoying. Hope you can train your DH, I've failed on that

Congratulations! My DH was like that; apparently exhausted by waking briefly when I took baby out the room to feed. I’m having another baby and I’m planning to sleep separately so he doesn’t drive me crazy with that same line.

Men! He does look tired, I just don't know how - honestly I don't. If he mentions it again I'll say if you're honestly tired, you need to book in docs and get your bloods tested. His parents joke he's always needed his sleep, they weren't kidding!!

My last birth was natural, so this is my first experience of C-section! O my it hurts - also feel for my toddler, who I can't do much with :(

The c section is so much more debilitating than I ever appreciated until I had one. Please do try to take it easy. I know it’s easier said than done, but sod the chores! Rest as much as possible It took a long time for me to feel ok afterwards.

I had an emcs and ebf. Dh used to get up after a 5 am ish feed and let me have a couple of hours sleep. Worked wonders..

Men just don't understand. My DP has been ok with the sleep thing but was really insensitive the other night when I was on loo with constipation asking if I was ever going to come back down stairs as baby was crying! Like I couldn't hear her! I lost the plot at him in floods of tears.
They just don't get it and what our bodies have to go through (let alone having a c-section) and that because of our boobs, we are the be all and end all for our newborns.
You're being incredibly patient in my book, I'd be going crazy at him.