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DH grandmother - Christmas visit

7 replies

Onpins · 17/11/2019 00:01

Due to give birth in 8 weeks, DH grandmother only pops up at the exciting times in our life, haven’t heard from her since July when we announced the pregnancy to the family, no how is the baby or how am I feeling, didn’t even acknowledge the 20 week scan date to see if baby was healthy.

Anyway, fast forward now to the last trimester, she wants to bring down a countdown to Christmas calendar (which she has made herself) for my son who is 3. Hasn’t seen him since July.

Last Christmas she came down caused a scene, said she’d forgot my gift, gave DH LOADS of presents bearing in mind he’s in his thirties and gave my son a teddy from the pound shop.

The Christmas before was the same, LOADS of gifts for my husband, nothing for me and a puzzle for my three year old which she said to share with mammy and laughed.

I am literally on eggshells about this countdown to Christmas gift she is creating, there’s going to be an agenda behind it, I’m sure the woman is a psychopath. Would I be unreasonable to tell my husband not to collect it or allow her to come down to give it over as I can’t be dealing with the stress just before the birth of our new arrival? but then I think how bad can it be? What could she put behind the doors? It’s making me laugh thinking about it but it’s a really special time for us and we are in such a happy, excitable place! Will I feel guilty if I’m just overthinking, maybe there is no agenda and she is being lovely. Would it be bad to just say we forgot about it?

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Pandora71 · 17/11/2019 01:42

She’s a psychopath because she gave her son more presents than you or her grandson? Who she gives presents to is her prerogative. Be grateful!

However if you have a real reason to be so sceptical then accept the calendar then check all the doors before your son opens them. Simple.

Onpins · 17/11/2019 12:17

Yep, a guy in his thirties doesn’t need lots of presents while a 3 year old has nothing.

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JasonPollack · 17/11/2019 12:19

Can't you just be out when she comes? A delightful fuck you and then your husband has to deal with her.

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Onpins · 17/11/2019 15:00

Is that too rude though?

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WhatsInAName19 · 17/11/2019 15:40

Yep, a guy in his thirties doesn’t need lots of presents while a 3 year old has nothing.

I totally agree with you but suspect this could end up being one of those weird things where MN general consensus is that it's totally normal, no reason to be annoyed and probably something about how she's entitled to give whatever gifts she wants. Back in the real world, common sense would tell most people that you don't lavish an abundance of gifts upon a grown man whilst not really bothering with gifts for a 3 year old who is probably bursting with excitement over Christmas.

Not sure she sounds like a psychopath tbh. More just "difficult". I'd let her drop the countdown thing round, wouldn't make a big deal of it. You probably won't see her again for ages.

JasonPollack · 17/11/2019 17:31

Why do you mind about being rude to her? From what you've said she clearly fucking hates you and doesn't bother with your child. Why be polite to her?!

Flashbackflossie · 17/11/2019 17:44

Is this your DH grandmother (old?) or DH mother? You're not clear.

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