Toddler mess woes

[Mammy2020]

Hi,

This is my 1st post so hello everyone.

I'm heavily pregnant with my 2nd child and have a 17 month old who is the love of my life. I've always been a really tidy person and find toddler mess and food throwing very stressful. My husband is really laid back about it all but I can't cope with a floor full of crumbs! I have a very short fuse re mess and beat myself up over my lack of ability to just get over it. I also lack self compassion so my inner critic likes to rage at me!

I am working full time and we've just moved so more stressors in that sense.

I don't mean to come across badly/whiny and am very very lucky but I'd appreciate some advice.

I'm a bit scared about coping with 2 and keeping everything going. I had subclinical depression and anxiety after my 1st pregnancy so want to be proactive to avoid round 2.

We are moving home to Ireland next year so our support system will widen hugely then as I don't want to lean on friends too much here and want to be resilient as so many Mums have to be in situations that are much more deserving.

Thanks in advance,
E

I don't think you're being whiny and you are just as deserving of help as anyone else. I'm really glad to hear you'll be getting more help and support after your move. Is there any way you could slowly get yourself used to the mess? I'm super messy myself so probably the worst person to advice. I have some mega tidy and organised friends and you know what... They've taught even their little kids to be like them. Toddlers are a bit different but if you consistently teach them that mummy doesn't like mess, this is how we ALWAYS clean up after we've made a mess then they will become pretty good at tidying up after their games etc. My friends five year old folds his clothes neatly into the drawers everyday and even hoovers his room! I get annoyed about the mess at times but then think I've got so many other priorities in life.

Wonder whether you'd benefit from thinking about why it is so important for you to be so tidy? When your reactions are so strong to mess I would suspect it comes from your childhood. How were your parents with mess? How were you made to feel if you made a mess? Might give you clues on how it started and maybe into how it can be solved too (if you find it a problem that is). A big issue seems to be how critical you are of yourself too. I think it sounds like you're doing amazingly well in a hard situation (small child +pregnancy + work = anyone doing it is a superwoman, struggling is allowed). Good luck with everything. Hope it gets easier!