Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

do your kids follow you around

9 replies

myotherface · 16/11/2019 13:40

Just that really. I wonder if other people's kids follow them around pretty much all the time? My kids are 9, 6 and 4. The middle one will often play by himself or with his siblings and be quite content. I've got guilt around him ending up having so much more time with me as the other two take up all my energy. My eldest follows me around every minute she is home. She talks, asks questions, asks me to help her with things etc. We never really have proper quality time just the two of us so this is probably her way of getting it. But it is literally all the time. I've had to explicitly tell her she is not allowed to stand next to me and talk when I'm on the toilet. Now at least get to be alone in thw bathroom. She's never been able to play by herself at all. The only way for me to get a break is for her to have a friend around. My youngest is very similar to his sister and wants to play with me all the time. The days he is not in nursery we basically play all day.. dens, jigsaws, read books, make small world's for Playmobil, play boardgames, dance... He had a couple of months he would play by himself a lot but for some reason that has stopped again. So him and his sister want me all the time.

Their dad is very hands on and good at playing with them etc but they don't want anything to do with him if I'm home. Apparently when I'm at work the children play by themselves or with each other while he gets on with housework. I would be grateful if I could even do the housework on my own. The other day I timed how often the kids said mummy. It was around every 50 seconds!! I'm exhausted. I'm recovering from severe depression and this is making it so hard. My husband tells me to go somewhere away from home if I want me time. I'd rather just have little bits of me time at home. It doesn't seem to be possible so I should probably book a weekend away for myself.

Just wondering if it's like this for other people or are we just a very dysfunctional/weird family?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Harriett123 · 16/11/2019 17:27

My stepson (7) is like this. I have to constantly remind him if I'm on the toilet that it's a time we dont talk / interrupt people. Outside of this there is no down time if he is here. Today I sent him out with dad so I could have a few hours to just chill on the couch.
I've tried everything to get him to self entertain but nothing works. In our case we think its because he is an only child here but 1 of 3 at mums so gets all his adult attention here.
Sorry no help or advice but i do sympathise

Wrigleys123 · 17/11/2019 10:14

Yes my 3 year old follows me everywhere it's exhausting. I was hoping she'll grow out of it by 9 though so I feel for you, even worse when you have 3 to deal with!

myotherface · 17/11/2019 20:07

Thanks Harriett and Wrigleys. My mum has always said she thinks it's because she was the only one up until the age of three and had the undivided attention of lots of people every minute of the day. Then in a relatively short period of time we moved countries, she became 1/3, I started work, she was bullied at school and had to move to another school. A lot to happen within a space of three years. I sometimes wonder if dh was more relaxed and less critical of both her and me, if me and dh got on better and if I didn't have recurrent episodes of depression whether she'd be half as anxious and clingy. We're working on all of these issues though. It can be so hard though trying to give all three the attention and love they all need and deserve.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 17/11/2019 20:11

Yes - I call it ‘caring ’ (as in every time you turn around there’s a small person tripping you up, like cats do).

Not so bad now but when taken somewhere they don’t want to I still get ‘catted’ by a bored teen.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 17/11/2019 20:12

‘cating’ not caring. My autocorrect doesn’t like pretend words!

Bluewavescrashing · 17/11/2019 20:13

Yes. I need my personal space and it drives me mad!

Wrigleys123 · 17/11/2019 22:12

Don't beat yourself up @myotherface I don't have anxiety or depression and my DD is still like this! Sometimes it's just their personality I guess. Hooray for work to get to go to the toilet in peace Grin

BenevolentEzza · 17/11/2019 22:38

Yes! To the point that they actually seem fucking obsessed with me! 😬

I'm hoping it'll pass. Though having said that, my adult children are also still a tad weird at times and they were the same as my younger ones are now...😂

Sofast · 18/11/2019 06:29

My 4 yo follows me none stop, she bloody lush but I could do with some.breathing space. Like you she was on her own until 3 and I've always played with her but while everyone used to comment on how good I was at playing with her and how bright she is because of it I wish I'd tried to make her play alone a bit, its exhausting now I've two kids

New posts on this thread. Refresh page