Worry over end of maternity leave

[toshbish123]

I've got a chunk of mat leave left and am semi looking forward to going back to work - although I don't have a choice anyway as bills don't pay themselves!

I've got childcare plans set up that I'm really happy with and that's practical and yet I'm finding myself (and I'm sure I'm not alone!) feeling really anxious about it.

I don't mean to sound like a wet blanket but I keep thinking about it and panicking. I imagine once I'm back I'll feel much better but I just wondered if anyone would be interesting in sharing their experiences going back to work and how they found it?

I don't really have anyone in real life to talk to about this, people at my work will think I'm just being over emotional (which I probably am!).

Just to say, I'm not complaining about having to go back, I know I'm lucky to have a job and even luckier to have childcare I'm comfortable with. This isn't a sympathy thread. Thanks in advance

Hi @toshbish123 👋🏼

No advice but I'm in exactly the same boat! How old is your DC? My DS is 6 months and I'm going to be starting back in about six weeks. I too am excited to work again but so anxious about leaving him! Even though he'll be with DP / grandparents. I can't shake the feeling that I'm the only person who can fully protect him and sooth him when he's upset...which is silly. I'm sure it's normal and every new mum goes through it.

I'm about to go out for the evening for the first time and am even anxious about this even though I'll be at a restaurant two mins from my house for about two hours 😅

I found that the 'thought' of work was actually far worse than the reality of actually going. When I had another period of maternity leave with my next children I found that making lots of plans for the last few months really helped as I wasn't thinking about going back.

When you go back you are so busy juggling working and being at home that you don't have time to worry about it!

Enjoy the rest of your maternity leave

Is it the thought of leaving your baby for so long that you’re struggling with? Have you ever left your child with anyone - even your other half - for a good chunk of the day? If you haven’t, do you think it would help to do that, but build up to it if you haven’t left the baby much at all. Like go for an hour to the cafe or gym, then maybe for a short shopping trip without DC. Meet a friend for lunch, without the baby. Just practice and see that it can feel strange but also enjoyable.

Not that I’m pushing this on you if you don’t want to of course.
I just found it easier to go back to work having “practised” like above a bit. Yes there’s the settling in phase you’ll get at nursery, if you’re using a nursery, but that can bring its own stresses. So I found it helpful to have some practice time away from DC, well in advance of going back to work.
And when I went back to work I got a lovely photo frame with my DS in it, bought lots of nice teas and treats just for work. So I could make the time special and enjoy being “me” again.

I'm down to days left on maternity leave, I don't want to go back either! I can't see hoe I'm going to get myself and a baby out of the house on time.

But all my friends who have gone back says that it's nowhere near as bad as you imagine and that you soon settle into a routine. And that DC are much more resiliant than we give them credit for!

I delayed going back until my dd was 15 months old. We found a fantastic childminder though, and it feels good to be back at work. I know she's happy and settled there and it's great for her to socialise. Once I was back at work, the days went really quickly, and getting into a morning routine didn't take long.
I'm expecting number 2 in May, and I won't be anywhere near as anxious this time because I know what to expect.

Totally normal. Its another big change in both your lives & the next step in your relationship as well. But not a bad one, it’s good for children to gain independence and learn to be in the care of others. My daughter has thrived at nursery, I’m so grateful for the love & attention they give her.

I was more than ready to go back to work & it wasn’t long before we were all very settled & happy in our new routine. It seems daunting to have to be out the door at a certain time each day after months of relaxed mornings but you do it because you have too! You set an alarm, get up, both dressed, fed & into the car for nursery/grandparents etc!

Work itself was fine, tiring getting back into the swing and re-learning everything but after a couple months, it was like I’d never been off. I love my child free 8 hours, using my brain as I do best. I then pick up my daughter & her running for a big hug is just the best We still get quality time together each day, the couple hours in the evening is solely focused on her 🧡

It’ll all be a bit alien at first but you’ll soon get into a rhythm that works for you

I went back on Tuesday! I was so anxious as I was starting a new job as well. Turns out I was worrying for nothing, my DD is really enjoying nursery and the days go quick at work.

I'm quite glad to be back in a routine! You will worry, it's natural but honestly you will be fine. I ended up going back when DD was 10 months instead of 12 due to a new job 😫