Worried to take newborn out for a walk

[Peachytea]

I have just had my second DC and she's 6 days old. Since she was born I have been really worried and anxious at the thought of going out with her. I'm scared she will fall ill and die, literally terrified.

It didn't happen with my first, I was very relaxed and we started going out for walks very quickly. Part of my anxiety is because whilst I had the flu jab I didn't havw the whooping cough one. Just before getting pregnant I travelled abroad and had hep A, diptheria, polio, tetanus etc.. and I wrongly assumed pertussis was included. I found out yesterday it wasn't.

I'm so scared if something happens to her it's my fault, I don't want to leave home or meet people. What do I do? I have to see my midwife next week and dreading it.

Just want to say congratulations on your new arrival . There is a lot to process physically and emotionally post birth and looking after a new born . I would strongly encourage you to speak to your midwife about how you are feeling and they can support you .

@Starheart thank you. I am so scared she will think I'm a bad mother for not having the vaccine. I cannot believe I didn't check before if it was included or not. I have had vaccines for everything.

She's so little and defensless that I'm feeling horribly neglectful.

Congratulations!

Isn't it a bit cold for a walk? Unless you live somewhere else that is not England... I understand your worries. Everything will be ok and your mind will soon go back to normal. Sending you hugs

You’re not horribly neglectful. I was like this with my second. In my case it was icy out and I was absolutely terrified of falling and letting go of the pram. My anxiety was sky high. There was no real risk. Nothing that couldn’t have been overcome. Do chat to your MW.

Thank you so much, it's been really hard couple of days. I also have a toddler who needs my attention so feel like I'm failing him as well. I have the excuse of the cold not to leave home but cannot stop family visiting for 8 weeks unfortunately.

No but you can have some time without being inundated. And you can address the anxiety.

Wrap up. And get out in the world. Enjoy the things around you. Take them in.

Your anxieties I totally understand. I am sure you also understand that they are not reasonable. Have you had chance to speak to you midwife about how you feel? Or your partner?

@cjt110 my husband is very rational, so he tried to make me see that I'm being unreasonable, when I told him about my fear. He feels like it's not good for my mental state to avoid leaving home.

It’s not good but you may need help to tackle the anxiety before you feel you can cope with going out.

@onetwothreemore - it’s not that cold in England 😂 I’m in the north and it’s averaging about 7 degrees most days. Put a jumper & padded coat on, nice snuggly pram suit for baby.. my toddler & I are out walking every day (even in the rain although that’s more her idea than mine) Good to get some fresh air

OP, please don’t panic. There’s no rush to get out the house. It’s only 6 days, still a lot of rest & recovery needed! But it’s also fine when you do feel ready, wrap yourself & baby up and take it nice & easy. Maybe speak to your GP about the missed vaccine concerns but whooping cough is very rare & your baby isn’t going to catch it from going for a walk unless someone with it sneezes on them! It’s not just hanging about in the air! Hope you can feel a little less anxious 🧡

I agree there is no rush. But the whooping cough vaccine in pregnancy is relatively new. I didn’t get it in 2012 with DC1. With DC2 he was born so early (27 weeks) that I didn’t have time to get it. Even then I was encouraged once he was out of the NICU to take him out for walks etc (he was 36 weeks gestation when we left the hospital). And this was with advice from medical professionals. It sounds like you have more generalised anxiety though and it would be helpful to speak to a midwife about it.

It wasn't even a thing to get whooping cough vaccine in pregnancy when mine were babies and they did ok. It's a relatively recent thing to get it done

Started in October 2012 apparently. Wrap up warm and get in the fresh air as even a short walk can help clear your head

Understand that this is not your rational brain thinking. It is your hormonal brain. Don't beat yourself up or feel nuts. It's biological. It will probably pass. If not, go see your GP. You've got this

I know I'm so irrational, I guess it surprises me as well as with my first I was super relaxed. Not sure what happened!

Also the fact I got whooping cough as a child makes me more worried. Rationally I know she's more likely to catch other ilnesses, but this one I'm obsessing about.

It's the hormones making you worry, they're evil, evil things. You should hopefully find that they start to die down a little by day 10. It's not compulsory to get out of the house, you can stay in. However, if you want to go out you shouldn't let it stop you!

They get whooping cough in the jab at 8 weeks. I found an interesting page on the NHS website that says only around 60% of pregnant women get the whopping cough vaccine in Scotland, but it has reduced the rate of whopping cough significantly since it was introduced in 2012.

You need the whooping cough during pregnancy (between 16 and 32 weeks, ideally) to pass immunity onto your baby.