Commuting as a mum

[CkFa]

I have a 1 year old and am going back to work soon. We are considering moving closer to family, about 50mins away to a smaller town. My daughter will have a nursery in the new town, and I'll be commuting back to my existing job about 2/3 times a week. Am I mad to move further away from my job and not be closer to my girl if she needs me during the day? My partner will transfer his job to the new town so will be more local. I'm scared I'm making the wrong decision. I'm a few years, what if she needs me more during school etc? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank you

How long is the commute? 50mins?
You will be doing 2-3 days and your partner and family will be local?
Sounds fine to me!

My commute is 90 mins in total - leaving at 7.45 to walk to nursery, drop off DS 14 months, walk back to station and get 8.16 train. At my desk by 9.30am.

It's a ball ache but doable.

It's the same on way home if I'm doing pick up (unusual) at 6pm. Can't do it in less than 90 mins really.

It's only a problem if there is a chance your LO can't be collected within the set time if they've been given medication at nursery (2 hours in my case) or at nursery pick up time (to avoid late fees).

I commute three days and work at home one day. DH does the same on different days.

You sound like you would have family support nearby so much more feasible. I totally get why you'd want to be closer to family now. If we could move closer to my mum I would too.

I think commute is 50 mins with no traffic but who knows with rush hour. I just feel sick about it for some reason. Not sure if my instincts are telling me not to move, or if I'm worrying too much. Plus moving to a smaller town with less friends, less going on, less job opportunities in the future. But cheaper property

It depends very much on the extent to which you think you will receive family help, if they're likely to be very supportive then the commute may be worth it.

That said my DC are older now but I moved nearer to family when I was pregnant with my second and it was the biggest mistake of my working life. It made working absolutely untenable and I eventually gave up.

It's been a priority since to live near to my work. That hasn't always been easy - we've lived in many houses in four countries over two continents in the past 12 years. But living near work makes it all hang together.

Does the move mean you will have partner and family in that town, so they are able (and willing) to deal with any issues, short term notice pick ups and so on? if yes then I would move. If the assistance is just theoretical and in reality everybody would be unavailable, meaning you need to rush back - I wouldn't move.

Will this work overall for your family? If so, sounds fine to me. One of you will be close in case of emergencies and it’s only a few days a week.

I commute to my office 3 hours away 3 days a week (yes, you read that right, it’s 6 hours of commuting a day). Most people I work with commute 50 minutes just getting from home to the office in the same city.

My dh is 15 minutes away so he handles anything that needs doing on those days. It works fine for us. I mean, I’d love a shorter commute (50 minutes would be amazing!), but it means we get to live where we want and have the lifestyle we want, and I get to have my job, which is great too.

We have a similar set up. My office is an hour away from home but DH works in our village where DS is also at the childminder. It's never concerned me at all - DH can get there quickly if needed. I also LOVE my commute - 2 hours a day of being on my own, listening to podcasts and music. It's bliss and DH is very jealous that I get that time to myself!

Your DH would be local so he would be the emergency contact not you. I don’t see a problem with that?

I will be commuting to London when my child is 1 and while yes I would try to get home in an emergency it would only be when my DH is working away at a further distance.

There will be a parent available there- from that perspective it's inconsequential if it's you or her father. This is juts your guilt, she will have access to a caregiver close by if needed.

Thank you all! It's just the prospect of change and not knowing what it will be like. But yes, partner will be local and my parents are desperate to help out! Thanks everyone x