Who has four or more children?

[Lonelymum]

I was just wondering as I have four and alot of mumsnetters seem to gasp when they read that and ask how I manage and yet I come across a few other mumsnetters who also have four (or five) children. So I would like to know who is as crazy/besotted as I am and who is more so? Also, who has the most children? You can qualify if some of your children are step-children!

Tallulah, I can't get pg again, because I have been sterilised, but he thought of it still fills me with horror! In fact I had a dream about being pg again the other night and woke up crying!

Thanks for the info about the Multipla Jmb. I will put it to dh for further research.

just read this with interest...no3 is 4 months old and there is a little voice saying 'have no4' and another voice saying 'no, have a bit of money and spare time and even a holiday once in a while'. So those of you with 4 who have the odd pang of regret, tell me why please - I imagine it's the amount of work/cost/lack of time for each child? There's part of me that feels that four would make more sense than three, because it'd be more balanced, but I am sooo tired just now and start at 6 or 7 and finish at 7 or 8 - there's so much washing to do; I seem to spend my life sorting, folding, putting away...

Would really appreciate some input on this

Skara - just said the very same to my Mum today - I'm doing several loads of washing a day, put in dryer, take out, fold, put away and off it goes again!!!! Just had ds3 5 weeks ago.

Like you though, I'm already thinking about the possibility of no.4, hard though it is right now and I'm thinking, in a years time James will be off bottles, eating normal food and sleeping through the night, hurrah. Do I REALLY want to start the baby-phase again?????

Sorry Skate and Skara (nice names for twins there....). Can't put you off having a 4th because it's a great idea. The change from 3 to 4 isn't half as bad as the change from 2 to 3. And it does even things up. The only down side is the car problem - but otherwise go for it!!

Ooooooooooh me too, sometimes S & S - though I also think that if I never had another one, I'd be fine and wouldn't regret it. I'm loving haing three, but the washing and everything else is endless!
Just don't let nutty see this thread has been revived!!

Ooh Skate I love the baby stage though! It's having to referee the demon children I have trouble with . We need to change cars in 2 or 3 years anyway, Muminamillion, so going for a Multipla which I've been coveting for ages isn't really a trial. So 3 to 4 isn't a big jump?

I do love the feeling of having joined a club by having a third; there's a real feeling of support and camaraderie from all the mums of three or more I meet at the school gates - we've moved recently and it's been a great way of meeting people. Oh I don't need much persuading, I'd love another! I can't be this knackered forever though can I? (please someone say no)

Well, if you have 4, the older ones can help with the younger ones, so you are not as tired as you were with having the first two and had to do it all yourself. That's my theory anyway! And once you have 3, you are constantly washing anyway, so you really don't notice the extra clothes. I love having 4, though would have liked 6 ......

Skara - oh me too. Somehow you feel a bit 'special' joining the gang of 3+ children!

Yes, James is an angel but the other 2 monster children are hard work (ds's are 3.5 and 2)!!! They are actually quite good but obviously have their moments!

I love J being a baby but I'm quite looking forward to when they are all running around and can talk to each other (granted, they'll probably also be beating each other up! HELP!). Also quite looking forward to when going out to restaurants etc is not such a trial and you are not so restricted by nap times, nappies, potties etc!

Wow MIAM - you're putting up a good case! Couldn't do it now though and the thought of putting myself through the first six months again (it was v difficult this time with ds2) scares the life out of me!

Well don't worry. You'll prob have someone come along very soon to talk you completely out of it - someone much more sensible than me!

V true about the washing I imagine - there has to come a point when it hits maximum velocity and doesn't come at me any faster. I think I'm getting there now (Skate hope that's a consolation - now that no3 isn't puking all over everything he even reuses some clothes, hooray!).

What is v funny is that even though I'm new to all this three stuff, when other mothers find out they seem to think I'm an expert. at the thought. I seem to be developing weird inner calm though, or else a kind of mute acceptance that chaos, shouting, mess and refereeing fights is my lot in life now! At least if I have four they'll have one each to fight with...

Hi all - reading this with interest as dd2 is 6 mths old. Have dd1 (nearly 6) and ds (nearly 4) who play brilliantly together, and I'm wondering if we shouldn't go for no4 to get a less-than-2-yr gap, so dd2 can have a playmate close in age.

No 3 has been so easy - she has cabaret from the older two when they are at home from school/playgroup, and our circumstances now are much better (moved out of 2 bed flat into house WITH tumble drier!)

My dh is one of 4; I am one of 2. His siblings all seem a bit competitive for their parents' attention (even in their late 30s, 40s). Is this something those of you with older children have noticed?

But lots of respect to those of you doing it, while some of us just wonder

Yes, yes yes Tickle!! There is 18mths between my older two and 15mths between the younger two. And they are fabulous company for each other - I've never had to entertain them atall. Mind you, once you have 4 there is always one that will hate what you have cooked for dinner. But then, on the positive side, 3 who will like it!

Ooh muminamill, that's encouraging...
I also think no 3 has been easier cos I'm more into a routine with dinner, washing, all that stuff - so doing it for 4 won't make such a huge difference.
And as with so many on this thread, my house is always a mess anyway!(we should have a webcam challenge to see whose is worst )

Muminamillion and others - I think you might be mistaken in assuming that the shock you encounter from others when they hear that you have a big family is due to horror or disapproval. I'm pretty sure that most people are feeling awe and perhaps admiration. My own reaction to mums of 4 is 'how the hell do you cope', but they actually have my respect because frankly I find just two kids absolutely draining (mind you they are just 2 years old and 5 months)!!!

I would like to have 3 kids but don't know if I have the stamina.

I'm up at 7.45 and in bed at about 1 am usually. I have four as I have already said. It's worth bearing in mind that there is higher risks of having children with sn the more you have, so it also needs to be taken into consideration, as does whether you could cope with that lifestyle. I know having a sn child can happen to anyone at anytime, but the more you have the higher the chance. My first was born with 2 heart defects, hydrocephalus, and had gdd , she also has a collagen deficiency (hereditary) , this was a result of prescribed drugs during pg. Two and three only have the collagen deficiency, but number 4 has cerebral palsy, can't stand or walk, is in a wheelchair, and isn't looking like he will be advancing on from that anytime soon (3.5). If you have a child with sn you must allow for all the time spent on endless rounds of medical appointments, and trying to fit those in with family time, as well as home therapy programmes, and housework on top.

Like I said , probably unlikely to happen, but worth considering. Sorry I am a picture of gloom and doom aren't I?

Thanks handleme - I do like to be admired!!

Lou - as always the voice of reason. I said someone more sensible would come along ...

no Lou I think you're being realistic. I have to confess it's not something I'd have thought of, but then when I told people I was pg with no3 quite a few said 'but why? you have two healthy children...' I couldn't stay up as late as 1.45 every night, I'd collapse with exhaustion. This is late for me now at 11pm!

Have been thinking about the sn issue actually, lou. It's true that the amount of time with each at the mo is spread evenly... a child with sn must really swing the balance. It's good to have that side of it pointed out.
No wonder you said you sounded like a lone voice - you have an awful lot on your plate.

Lou - your situation is very sobering. To not put to fine a point on it you must be completely drained and knackered constantly.

But re the special needs risk being higher the more children you have - surely its still a very very small risk isn't it?

I couldn't give you statistics, but you also have to factor in age as well, the more you have the older you are, the higher the risks etc.

Thanks for not stoning me btw. I often feel like I am the only one who finds it v hard. I wonder where I am going wrong when everyone else seems to think it's so great.

Hello Beety

Sorry lou - don't want to sound as if having my 4 is permanently a bed of roses. It is hard too sometimes, but ofcourse I am not in the same situation as you. Anyone who has to cope with what you do, would find it difficult. But you manage whilst retaining your wicked sense of humour!! You really are a muminamillion!!

Hardly!

And don't apologise for enjoying your family !